Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Firstly this is the great thing become financially strong peoples are help other poor people. Because they have the perfect amount of money to distribute those people, who are homeless, hungry. Especially the childrens are cannot going to school for money. This is very significant thing in our socaity. Every children have right to take the educational knowledge.

I strongly belive that, the first statement is very logical and true. I am agree about this. Furhermore every people should try to help the group of poor people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You take a clear position in favour of the idea, stating, “I strongly believe” it is logical and that you agree. You also give relevant examples of how wealthy people could help, including supporting people who are homeless or hungry and enabling children to attend school. However, these points are only briefly mentioned, with little explanation of how helping others is the most important benefit of wealth or consideration of other possible benefits. The response is also substantially below the required 250 words, so the task is addressed only minimally and the ideas remain underdeveloped. To improve, explain your reasons with specific examples and develop your position across a complete essay with an introduction, supporting paragraphs and a conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic sense of order: it first introduces helping poor people and children, then states your agreement in a separate paragraph. Connectors such as “Firstly,” “Because,” and “Furthermore” show an attempt to link ideas. However, the progression is limited, and the second paragraph largely repeats the position rather than extending the argument. “Because” begins a fragment, while the relationship between the points about poverty, education and your overall claim is not fully explained. Use a clearer paragraph structure, with each paragraph developing one reason, and connect examples to the claim they support. A concluding sentence would also help the response feel complete.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “financially strong,” “homeless,” “hungry,” “distribute,” and “educational knowledge.” These choices make your general meaning understandable, but the range is narrow and several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision. For example, “financially strong peoples” is not a natural way to describe wealthy people, and “distribute those people” uses the wrong collocation for helping them. There are also spelling errors such as “socaity,” “belive,” and “Furhermore.” Build a wider set of accurate expressions for wealth, poverty and charitable support, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Your response mainly uses simple sentence patterns, with an attempt at a reason clause in “Because they have the perfect amount of money…” and a relative clause in “people, who are homeless, hungry.” However, sentence construction and basic grammatical forms are often inaccurate, and these errors sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “the great thing become financially strong peoples are help,” “the childrens are cannot going,” and “I am agree.” There are also problems with articles, plurals and agreement, as in “Every children.” Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and review verb forms, subject–verb agreement and countable nouns. More accurate simple sentences should come before attempts at longer structures.

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