Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, all people like to being rich becouse of the faclities and good lifestyle.Some people say the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. I completing agree in this statment.

On the one hand, many people belive that rich is that one has the opportunity to help other.For example,rich people help the poor people like they distibute food, clothes and other important thing . if rich people keep this type of method poor people not very feel to they are poor. rich people share the work poor people and give the good salery poor people bring a rich and they completed our dreams. for example, like fastival days they distibute sweets, clothes,food, and important things.

On the other hand, some rich people very arrogent because they belive all people bring rich our value is dowe so that's why they do not help the poor people. they are very bit jelouse for example,they belive,they provided food, money, clothes, and other things thet bring a poor. Moreover they argue that another point support they bring poverty stricken . they are very down of earth because of the our thought are very down.

To conclued,although some say that most important thing about heing rich is that one has the opportunity to help others.but some says it's not important to helps others appears more comptelling given the resons outlined above i finally belive that restate it's important to help the poor it's good way to share happines and take good blessings.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a clear position in the introduction—“I completing agree”—and return to the idea that helping poor people is valuable in the conclusion. The examples of distributing food and clothes are relevant, but the response does not explain clearly how these actions show that helping others is the most important benefit of wealth. The opposing paragraph is also difficult to interpret and does not develop a clear counterargument. Overall, the task is addressed only minimally, with ideas that are limited and under-supported. The response contains 221 words, so it is 29 words below the 250-word minimum; the 35 words copied from the task prompt are not counted. Develop two clear reasons, explain each one, and add a relevant example before concluding.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an introduction, two body paragraphs signposted by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This gives the reader some sense of structure. However, the ideas do not progress clearly within the paragraphs: the first moves from charity to wages and festival gifts without explaining their relationship, while the second contains several unclear claims. Linking phrases such as “Moreover” and “for example” are used, but they do not consistently show how one point follows from another. Improve progression by giving each paragraph one main idea, then explaining and illustrating it in a logical order. Clearer references would also help readers follow who is helping whom.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “rich,” “poor,” “opportunity,” “distribute,” and “poverty stricken,” and you attempt to discuss charity, wages, and social attitudes. However, the range is basic and repetitive, with “rich people” and “poor people” appearing frequently. Several spelling and word-choice errors make parts difficult to understand, such as “faclities,” “distibute,” “arrogent,” and “comptelling.” Some phrases are also unnatural or unclear, including “share the work poor people” and “bring a poor.” Build a more precise vocabulary for discussing wealth and social support, and check spelling and collocations. Replacing repeated general terms with accurate alternatives will make your ideas easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt a few longer sentences and use basic structures to express contrast and cause, but the range is limited and errors occur frequently, sometimes obscuring meaning. For example, “I completing agree” has an incorrect verb form, and “if rich people keep this type of method poor people not very feel to they are poor” lacks a clear grammatical structure. There are also problems with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, as in “some rich people very arrogent because they belive.” Punctuation is inconsistent, with missing spaces after full stops and commas. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using clauses such as “because” and “although.” Check that each sentence has a subject and a correctly formed verb.

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