Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is widely believed by some individuals that being affluent means opportunity to help poor. From my perspective, I firmly agree that wealthy people can contribute with society, they have opportunity to help disadvantaged individuals by donating money and build schools and hospitals in rural area.

It is argued by some individuals that being a rich is itself a opportunity to help disadvantaged people. They can help others by donating money to them. For instance, one the one hand, many people in the world are living in slum areas and nothing to eat, drink, and wear. On the other hand, wealthy people have many resources to fulfil their desires so, they can help poor people by providing them food, clothes and a space to live. They can support students by helping them and pay their fees, also they can pay bills of disadvantaged people in hospitals. They can contribute in a society because they have enough sources to help others.

Furthermore, affluents can also use their financial resources to improve society. It is convenient for business men to establish more buildings in rural areas, such as hospitals and schools because people have less access to healthcare and education. They can also provide employment opportunities in their companies. For example, if they participate with society and build hospitals and schools by supporting them financially consequently, it improves their standard of living.

To conclude this, I believe the most important thing about being rich is that wealthy people have opportunity to change the living standard of disadvantaged people by providing them jobs opportunities, by contributing in charities and build buildings for poor.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you firmly agree that wealth creates opportunities to help disadvantaged people, and you address both direct assistance and wider community benefits. Examples such as providing food, clothing, housing, school fees and hospital bills are relevant, while the discussion of building schools and hospitals and creating jobs adds another dimension. However, the claim that helping others is “the most important thing” about being rich is mostly accepted rather than examined; explain why this matters more than other benefits of wealth. Some examples are also asserted briefly, especially the point about employment and improved living standards. Develop one or two examples with clearer cause-and-effect reasoning to make the response more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present forms of assistance, and the conclusion restates your position. The progression from direct support for individuals to investment in community services is sensible. However, some linking is mechanical or unclear. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” do not introduce contrasting positions here, and “consequently” makes the final example difficult to follow. The repeated references to “help others” and “disadvantaged people” also make the development feel somewhat repetitive. Use transitions that show the actual relationship between ideas, and make references such as “supporting them financially” more precise about who receives the support.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “affluent,” “disadvantaged,” “financial resources,” “employment opportunities” and “standard of living.” These choices help communicate the topic, and the meaning is generally clear. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “contribute with society,” “enough sources,” “a space to live,” and “build buildings for poor.” “Affluents” is also not the natural noun form in this context, and “business men” is less suitable than a more precise term. Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than using formal-sounding words where they do not fit. This would make your vocabulary more precise and flexible.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because” and “if,” and your meaning is usually understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with articles, agreement, verb forms and sentence boundaries. For example, “being a rich is itself a opportunity” has article and noun-form problems, while “wealthy people can contribute with society, they have opportunity” joins two independent clauses incorrectly. In the conclusion, “by contributing in charities and build buildings” does not maintain a parallel grammatical structure. Review article use, prepositions within grammatical patterns, and parallel forms in lists. Breaking up or correctly joining clauses will also improve control of punctuation.

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