Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is agrued that some people says the most essential thing about thing rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. I completely agree with this statement because this is good decesion. On the one hand, The main reason that when some people will rich that his poor citizens will benefits, because rich people will be start new business or house build than poor people meet good opportunity when they work start at hear . for example. When poor people will be work start at rich people business and home then they give some thousand rupees his benefits for you, after that his home life is well survival. On the other hand, the main reason that some people disagree that poor people do not help because they will be rich so they connot another people have same look . they are have feel better themselves.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a clear position—“I completely agree”—and give a relevant reason: wealthy people may create businesses or build homes, providing work for poorer citizens. However, the response addresses the topic only minimally. The explanation and example are difficult to follow, and the opposing view (“some people disagree”) is mentioned but not explained or connected clearly to your position. The response is also 137 words, so it is 113 words below the required 250; the 10 words copied from the prompt are excluded. This leaves too little space to develop your argument. To improve, explain how helping others is the most important benefit of wealth, support this with a clear example, and clarify whether you accept or reject the counterargument.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response using “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and the reader can identify a main reason followed by an opposing point. However, the ideas are not arranged coherently enough for the relationships between them to remain clear. For example, the sequence about rich people starting businesses, poor people finding work, and receiving “some thousand rupees” is difficult to follow. The second side is also very brief and does not lead back to your stated agreement. Use separate, clearly focused paragraphs, and make each sentence build on the previous one. Simple links such as “As a result” or “However” can help when their relationship is explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “rich,” “poor citizens,” “business,” and “opportunity,” so the central subject is recognisable. However, the range is basic and several inaccurate or unclear word choices strain understanding. Phrases such as “good decesion,” “his benefits for you,” and “his home life is well survival” do not express your intended meaning naturally; spelling errors such as “agrued” and “connot” also reduce clarity. Aim to learn useful collocations for this topic, such as “create employment,” “improve living conditions,” and “support disadvantaged people.” Check spelling and choose words that express the exact relationship you mean, rather than repeating general terms such as “rich” and “people.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example with “because” and “when,” but sentence structures are very limited and errors are frequent enough to make parts difficult to understand. In “some people says,” the subject and verb do not agree; “when some people will rich” has an incorrect verb form; and “they are have feel better” combines incompatible verb structures. Articles and sentence boundaries are also unreliable, as in “for example.” followed by a fragment. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then join them with one clear subordinate clause. Check subject–verb agreement, verb forms after “will,” and whether each sentence has a complete subject and main verb.

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