Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

According to some people, the opportunity to help others is the most important point of being wealthy. I mostly agree with the idea of richness being associated with opportunity of being helpful.

When people belong to a weak financial background, they might be able to see problems of others but they do not have resources to help them. For instance, if i talk about myself, I have always been an empathetic person. When I was growing up, I always wanted to help and educate the people living in slum areas but I never had resources to do so. Although I had deep empathy for them but i had no opportunity and resources to help them.

Richness always comes with a responsibility. The rich people of the society should help the poor. For instance, in our religion Islam and Holy Book Quran, it is clearly stated that Allah Almighty has not divided the wealth equally among the people. Those who have been blessed with wealth should help those who cannot even afford the basic necessities of life. For this reason, wealth has been declared a test by Allah for the rich people. For example, Islam has a very strong system for circulation of wealth by means of Zakat.

It is very clear that the most important responsibility of being rich is to make easiness for others. They definitely have the opportunity to help. For example, in Pakistan, celebrities are often seen as the most rich personlaities of society and they also have the opportunity. Recently, a famous Pakistani singer Hadiqa Kiyani was awarded an award by the government of Pakistan for her selfless efforts of providing financial support to the flood victims in Pakistan. This is due to the reason that she has the wealth and she utilized it for its most important purpose.

In conclusion, the social and religious aspects of being rich often depict the opportunity to help others and it is regarded as the most important thing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you mostly agree that helping others is the most important aspect of wealth, and the conclusion returns to this view. The response addresses the prompt with relevant support, including your personal experience, the religious principle of Zakat, and Hadiqa Kiyani’s support for flood victims. These examples extend the central idea and make the argument easy to follow. However, the discussion largely assumes that wealth’s main purpose is helping others, rather than weighing this against other possible benefits of being rich, such as security or personal freedom. The personal example is also more about lacking resources than about why helping others is the most important benefit. A brief comparison with another aspect of wealth would make the position more fully developed and nuanced.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, three supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each body paragraph has a recognisable focus, and examples generally follow the claims they support. You also use linking expressions such as “For instance,” “For this reason,” and “In conclusion” to guide the reader. This gives the response a coherent progression, but some connections feel mechanical or repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “For example” and “opportunity to help.” The relationship between the personal example and the broader claim could also be made more explicit. In the final body paragraph, the celebrity example would connect more smoothly if you first explained how public figures’ resources enable practical assistance, then introduced the specific case.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “empathetic,” “basic necessities,” “circulation of wealth,” and “selfless efforts.” These choices help communicate ideas about responsibility and charitable support. There are, however, several awkward or imprecise expressions, such as “the most important point of being wealthy,” “make easiness for others,” and “the most rich personalities.” Some repetition of “help,” “opportunity,” and “wealth” also limits flexibility. Spelling and word-form slips, including “personlaities,” reduce accuracy. Aim to use more natural collocations and vary key terms where possible; for example, describe wealth as enabling people to “provide assistance” or “support disadvantaged communities.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses beginning “When people belong…” and “Although I had…,” as well as relative clauses such as “those who cannot even afford…”. Most sentences remain understandable, and the range is suitable for presenting examples and explanations. Some grammatical errors persist, however. In “Although I had deep empathy for them but…,” the conjunctions are incorrectly combined; use “Although I had deep empathy for them, I had no resources…” or “I had deep empathy for them, but…”. Capitalise “I” consistently, and check article and agreement choices, as in “a famous… singer… was awarded an award” and “the most rich personlaities.” More careful editing of sentence patterns and punctuation would improve accuracy.

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