Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some people believe that the most phenomenal thing about being wealthy is having enough resources to lend a hand to someone in need. I completely agree with this mindset because you can help anyone without sabotaging your own needs and you can also make the life easier for your loved ones.

The luxury of helping others without worrying about your own bills is affordable to rich people only. Imagine you're seeing that someone is really struggling to make ends meet and you genuinely want to help them but you cannot because your own bills are due. Being rich can save you from such unfortunate situations. The people with money can experience the joy of helping someone without fear of going broke and miserable later.

Another plus point of being well settled is that when you see your loved ones struggling due to lack of money, you can immediately ease their worries. There's this saying that the best thing you can do for people around you is getting rich and being generous. As an elder sister, nothing makes me more happy than paying for my younger sibling's bills, buying them food and taking care of them financially. Whenever I pay for their stuff, it gives me a satisfaction of mind that I'm doing good in life. All of this is possible with money only.

Im conclusion, money gives you a control over helping the ones in need around you and at the same time it gives you a sense of happiness.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you completely agree that wealth matters because it enables people to help others while meeting their own needs. Both body paragraphs support this view, first through helping someone in financial difficulty and then through supporting family members. The personal example about paying your younger sibling’s bills makes the second point concrete, and the conclusion returns to the benefits of helping and the resulting happiness. This addresses the task and develops relevant ideas. To strengthen the response further, explain more fully why helping others is the most important aspect of being rich, rather than mainly describing the practical and emotional benefits. Some claims, such as that only rich people can help without worrying about bills, are also quite broad and would benefit from qualification.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two focused supporting paragraphs and a conclusion. The progression from helping people generally to supporting loved ones is easy to follow, and phrases such as “Another plus point” signal the shift between ideas. This gives the essay coherent organisation. However, some links are rather mechanical, and the relationship between sentences could be made more explicit. For example, “All of this is possible with money only” repeats the preceding point instead of extending it, while the saying about getting rich and being generous appears abruptly. Integrate that idea into the paragraph’s reasoning and use a wider range of natural transitions and referencing to create smoother connections.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss wealth, financial hardship and generosity, including “make ends meet,” “ease their worries” and “going broke.” These expressions help communicate your examples clearly, and the meaning remains accessible throughout. There are also attempts at more expressive wording, such as “phenomenal thing” and “satisfaction of mind,” but some choices are imprecise or unnatural in context. “Phenomenal” is not the most suitable way to describe the most important aspect, and “satisfaction of mind” would more naturally be “peace of mind” or “a sense of fulfilment.” The phrase “money only” is also awkward. Aim for more precise collocations and a consistently appropriate academic tone while retaining the personal example.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional construction in “you can help anyone without sabotaging your own needs” and a longer sentence beginning “Imagine you’re seeing that someone is really struggling.” Most sentences communicate their meaning clearly, and the personal example is expressed in a sequence that is easy to understand. Some grammatical errors remain, however. In the conclusion, “money gives you a control” needs the article removed, and “Im conclusion” should be “In conclusion.” The construction “nothing makes me more happy than paying” is better expressed as “nothing makes me happier than paying.” Continue checking articles, comparative forms and sentence phrasing, and vary complex structures more confidently to improve accuracy and range.

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