Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, a lot of person's think that the most important thing about being rich is to help others expecially the poor people and it become a widely problem some people agree with the ideaand others totally disagree . In my opinion being rich is good thing in lot of topics especially charing with others and joining the charities.

On the one hand , one of the main reasons why rich people should chare with others is gaining the love of allah firstly and work for the heaven with gaining hasanat , Secondly the love of citizens , and making people happy its verry kind thing that you can do especially for children buying for them gifts and food , also they can help sick and who need special needs with giving charity to hospitals, helping others it's a sense of humanity that keep people loving each others and care for each others in happiness and sadness also you gain new friendships from different cultures and societies.

On the other hand , it is also important to consider that there are others who don't think so and have different mindset, they think that everyone should work and gain it's money alone without searching for help from others and actually it's there rights because to gain money now it's difficult all your timez and health go and then you give it to other's. For instance they should help them to have job's and work not to give them there own money . Therefore they become less responsible.

In conclusion,although tgere are different opinions regarding this issue,i bilieve that the first opinion is the right because it reunites the members of society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you support the view that wealth is valuable partly because it enables people to help others, and you acknowledge an opposing perspective. The first body paragraph gives relevant reasons, including religious reward, making people happy, and supporting hospitals. However, these points are mostly listed rather than explained with specific examples or consequences. The opposing view—that people should earn their own money and that giving may reduce responsibility—is also relevant, but its connection to the question is not fully clarified. To strengthen the response, explain more precisely why helping others is the most important benefit of being rich, and develop fewer ideas in greater depth. The response meets the stated length requirement; the nine words copied from the task prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The use of “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” helps signal the stages of the argument. Within paragraphs, however, ideas are often joined in long chains, particularly in the first body paragraph, where several reasons and examples run together. Some links are mechanical or unclear, such as “also” and “therefore,” and the relationship between helping people and gaining friendships could be made more explicit. Use shorter, clearly focused sentences and organise each paragraph around one main claim, followed by an explanation and an example. This would make the progression easier to follow and improve the clarity of references between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “charities,” “special needs,” “humanity,” “citizens,” and “different cultures and societies.” These choices show that you can discuss both practical and social reasons for helping others. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: examples include “expecially,” “chare,” “tgere,” and “bilieve.” Some expressions are also imprecise or unnatural, such as “work for the heaven” and “a widely problem.” Repetition of “help,” “people,” and “others” limits the range. Build a bank of accurate topic phrases and check spelling carefully; using more precise expressions such as “provide financial assistance” or “support vulnerable people” would make the argument clearer and more appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at more complex structures, including “although there are different opinions regarding this issue” and clauses beginning with “because” and “who.” The overall meaning is generally recoverable, but some sentence structures are difficult to follow because several clauses are joined without clear punctuation. There are also errors in agreement, articles, and possessive forms, as in “a lot of person's think,” “it become,” and “it's there rights.” The conclusion’s opening clause also needs clearer punctuation. Practise forming accurate subject–verb patterns and possessives, and divide long sentences into shorter units. More reliable control of these structures, alongside your attempts at complex sentences, would make the argument easier to read.

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