Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays money plays and important role in our lifes.While many people say that being wealthy is the chance to help poor people.In my prespactive i strongley agree with this statement because rich people can donate to the society and poor people.

There are several ways of donating like donation to poor families for their better life style,donation to charity schools,creation of schools for poor people and creating hospitals for poor people.Initially wealthy people can donate to poor people who can't have the enough sources for living their lives it can help them in spending their lifes with better opportunites for example it helps them in rebuilding their houses,improving groccery and pay for utility bills and essantials.Moreover donation to charity schools also help alot of people in multiple ways charity schools find out the poor people and help their in their life essantials like charity schools pay different expences of the poor people.

However wealthy people can donate in schools by creating schools in which poor childerns can study free of cost alot of childerns in different countries are not studying just because of not having the sources for their study expences by creating schools it will also help in increasing of country wealth.However a large number of childerns dreaming for their better future in different types of mindset by creating schools it will help them to fulfill their dreams and several opportunities for them in their own country.On the other side a large number of people dying everyday due to less sources in hospitality.Many people have less sources for their treatment and they have to face difficulties in hospitality by creating hospitals from donation can help poor people in their treatments and health care.

In conclusion i totally agree that wealthy people have to donate for poor people it helps alot of people to live their lifes with better lifestyle.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that wealth matters because it enables people to help others. You give relevant examples, including support for poor families, schools and hospitals, so the response addresses the central topic. However, the discussion focuses almost entirely on ways wealthy people can donate; it does not explore whether helping others is the most important benefit of being rich or acknowledge other possible benefits. Several points are also asserted rather than explained—for example, the claim that building schools increases a country’s wealth is not developed. To strengthen the response, address the wording “the most important thing” directly and explain why this benefit outweighs alternatives, using fewer examples in greater depth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the examples generally relate to the main idea. Some progression is visible as you move from family support to education and healthcare. However, the body paragraphs contain several ideas in long sequences, so the relationship between points is not always clear. Connectors such as “However” and “On the other side” are sometimes used where the ideas are not contrasting, and “However” is repeated. References such as “it” and “their” can also be unclear. Organise each paragraph around one main reason, then explain and illustrate it; use linking expressions only when their logical relationship is accurate.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use topic-related vocabulary such as “donate,” “charity schools,” “utility bills,” “treatment” and “health care,” which helps communicate your examples. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “poor people,” “creating schools” and “sources.” There are also noticeable spelling and word-choice problems, including “prespactive,” “groccery,” “essantials” and “hospitality” where you mean hospital care. Some combinations are unnatural, such as “increasing of country wealth” and “better life style.” Build a more precise range for discussing poverty, education and healthcare, and check spelling and collocations. This would make your meaning easier to follow and reduce the effort required from the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with clauses, for example, “Many people have less sources for their treatment and they have to face difficulties…” This shows an effort to vary sentence structure. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles and plurals sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “money plays and important role,” “charity schools also help alot,” and “a large number of childerns dreaming.” Several sentences run together without appropriate punctuation, especially in the second paragraph. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly connected supporting clause, then check subject–verb agreement, articles and punctuation before submitting.

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