Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

i agree that if someone is rich he gets opportunities to help others , but depends on the people if they want to help or not .money never brings kindness or personality. but if someone gets rich then their 1st priority should be to help others in every possible way . there are so many people in the world are dealing with the poverty. people are dying of hunger , people are lacking of treatment because pf poverty. rich people should open more charities to help the people .rich people have all the opportunities to help others . in our society we have some rich people who aren't willing to help others , they cupiditous . The greedy one wants more and more money . They never look upon the poor people. Every rich person have the opportunity to help others I completely agree with that .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You take a clear position, agreeing that wealthy people have an opportunity and responsibility to help others. Relevant examples include poverty, hunger, lack of medical treatment and charities, so the response stays on topic. However, the task asks how far you agree with the claim that helping others is the most important thing about being rich; your response mainly says rich people should help, without explaining why this is more important than other aspects of wealth or considering the qualification that wealth itself does not create kindness. The ideas are asserted rather than developed with explanation or examples. The response is also 103 words below the required minimum, which limits how fully you can address and support the argument. Develop your reasoning and include a fuller discussion of the question’s central comparison.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable line of thought: it begins with your agreement, gives examples of people in need, and ends by restating your view. Words such as “but” and “because” make some relationships between ideas clear. However, the writing is presented as one continuous paragraph, and the progression is limited: the point that money does not bring kindness is not clearly connected to the later claim that helping should be a rich person’s first priority. Repeated references to “rich people” and “help others” also make the response feel repetitive, while transitions between claims are sometimes abrupt. Use separate paragraphs for your position, supporting reasons and conclusion, and connect each example explicitly to the main argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “poverty,” “hunger,” “treatment” and “charities.” These terms help make the examples relevant and understandable. There are also attempts to express evaluation, such as “first priority” and “greedy.” However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “rich people” and “help others.” Some choices are inaccurate or awkward, such as “they cupiditous” and “look upon the poor people,” and the spelling error in “pf” affects presentation. Aim for more precise, natural expressions and vary references to wealthy people and assistance. For example, you could use “affluent individuals,” “support disadvantaged communities” and “establish charitable organisations.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

Most of your meaning can be understood, and you attempt to link ideas using clauses, as in “if someone is rich he gets opportunities to help others.” However, the range is limited, with many short statements and few accurately controlled complex sentences. Errors in sentence structure and agreement occur in examples such as “there are so many people in the world are dealing with the poverty” and “Every rich person have the opportunity.” Punctuation and capitalisation are also inconsistent: several sentences begin with lowercase letters, and full stops are often followed immediately by the next sentence. Practise forming complete clauses, checking subject–verb agreement, and separating sentences clearly. More accurate control of these basics will make your argument easier to follow.

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