Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In modern era, numerous people think that wealthy person has a great prospect to help other needy people. I strongly agree from that statement, rich people can help others with large scale charity, creating jobs, finding true purpose.

To commencing with fundamental reasons, why rich people have opportunity to help others. Initially, large scale charity is the first point, people with full of wealth can donate a great amount to built hospitals, schools, shelters and also give money to poor or needy persons which can fix their problems. Subsequently, creating jobs is a another point, person who owns money can create jobs to other people by starting a company or a factory which is a way to help number of families. The third point is finding a true purpose, by helping that people who are in need can brings deep happiness. It turns personal money inyo something that helps the whole community.

However, some people disagree to help others because of some reasons like safety and peace of mind, help does not require money. Primarily, safety and peace of mind, for most of the people who owns a lot of money having a financial security is the best part. Rich people do not take much stress about rent, medical expenses or food. Secondly, help does not require money, number of people think they can help people without giving money to them, they can give them food, clothes and other thing according to their needs instead of money.

In the conclusion, rich erson can helps the other by creating jobs, large scale charity and finding the true purpose. On other hand, people who disagreed have their own resons like safety and peace of mind and they think that help not require money.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that wealth creates opportunities to help others, and you give relevant reasons, including charity, job creation and the personal satisfaction of helping. You also acknowledge a contrasting view about financial security and non-monetary assistance, so the response addresses both the opinion and an opposing perspective. However, the discussion is uneven: the benefits of charity and employment are explained with examples, while “finding a true purpose” is asserted more than developed. The opposing points are also not fully connected to the question of what is most important about being rich. To strengthen the response, explain more directly why helping others is, or is not, the most important benefit compared with personal security or other advantages.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, a paragraph supporting your view, a paragraph presenting contrasting points, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “Initially,” “Subsequently,” and “The third point” help readers follow the list of reasons. However, these transitions can feel mechanical, and the relationship between some ideas is not always clear. For example, the paragraph beginning “However” introduces safety and peace of mind, which seems to describe a benefit of wealth rather than a reason to disagree that helping others is most important. The conclusion repeats the main points but does not resolve this contrast. Use clearer topic sentences and link each opposing point explicitly to the question; vary transitions and make references such as “that people” more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of relevant vocabulary, including “large scale charity,” “financial security,” “medical expenses,” and “whole community,” which helps communicate the main ideas. There are also attempts at less common expressions, such as “finding a true purpose,” though some combinations are unnatural or imprecise. Examples include “great prospect to help,” “people with full of wealth,” and “help number of families”; these choices make parts of the argument less fluent. Spelling and word-form slips such as “inyo,” “erson,” and “resons” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural collocations and check spelling carefully. For instance, use “opportunity to help,” “wealthy people,” and “support many families” to express your ideas more idiomatically.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses with “which” and “by,” and the main message is generally understandable. However, errors in agreement, articles, verb forms and sentence construction occur across the response. For example, “a wealthy person has” needs an article, “a another point” has an incorrect article, and “helping … can brings” should use the base verb after “can.” In “person who owns money can create jobs to other people,” the relative clause and verb pattern need more accurate control. Some sentences are also fragments, such as “To commencing with fundamental reasons, why rich people have opportunity to help others.” Practise building complete sentences with accurate subject–verb agreement, articles and modal verb patterns, then proofread each sentence.

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