Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Many argue that having the chance to help others is the most essential part of being wealthy. I completely disagree with this sentiment because I think it should depend on the person whether they want to help or not and also this is the responsibility of the government.

The well-off have worked a lot to get the money they have so it is only fair that they get the say on how they will spend their money. It does not matter whether a person is rich or not, what matters is what the person wants to do with their money. People should not manipulate or force others in the name of “help”. For instance, making a charity campaign using pictures of kids and disabled people to be able to get money without giving further explanation of where it will go. It is better to help anyone if it comes from a will of choice and not because they feel like they need to do it because it degrades the purpose of helping others.

Moreover, the government could have the upper hand in being able to assist the community they are handling. These officials have the most power in being able to change the situation of people who are helpless so they should use this opportunity to be able to help others. For example, the administrators could start by giving free basic necessities and jobs as a way of living to the poor because this can really improve their lifestyle; instead of just giving temporary aids. The rich can only help a few people temporarily while the government can help everyone with permanent solutions.

In conclusion, I disagree that the most significant part of being rich is to help others because they should have the freedom to spend their money just like everyone else and it is also better if the government would be the one taking the initiative to help the poor.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction to the conclusion: you disagree that helping others is the most important aspect of wealth. You address the prompt with two relevant reasons—individual freedom over personal money and the government’s responsibility—and support them with examples, such as charity campaigns and public provision of necessities and jobs. This gives the response a developed, relevant argument. The discussion of government action is particularly clear, while the claim that wealthy people “have worked a lot” is broad and would benefit from qualification or evidence. Also, the essay could engage more directly with why the opportunity to help might be valuable to a wealthy person, even if it is not the most important thing. Further development of that contrast would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay is organised into a clear introduction, two body paragraphs with distinct reasons, and a conclusion that restates your position. The progression from personal choice to government responsibility is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Moreover,” “For instance,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. Examples are generally placed where they support the relevant point. Some connections could be more precise: the charity-campaign example illustrates concerns about transparency and pressure, but its link to the claim about personal freedom could be explained more explicitly. The repeated use of “help” and “others” also makes parts of the argument feel less varied. Use clearer referencing and a wider range of transitions to make relationships between claims and examples more seamless.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to express the argument, including terms such as “well-off,” “manipulate,” “temporary,” and “permanent solutions.” These choices make your main ideas clear, and the language is generally appropriate to the topic. However, some wording is imprecise or unnatural, including “the government they are handling,” “a will of choice,” and “jobs as a way of living.” Repetition of “help,” “people,” and “money” also limits flexibility. Aim for more precise collocations and topic-specific vocabulary, such as “public authorities,” “voluntary giving,” or “sustainable employment.” This would make the argument sound more controlled and formal while preserving its clear meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “whether,” and “while.” Several sentences communicate the argument clearly, and errors rarely prevent understanding. Some grammatical problems remain, however. In “making a charity campaign … to be able to get money,” the sentence is a fragment rather than a complete example; connect it to a main clause. In “the government they are handling,” the relative structure is incomplete, and “if it comes from a will of choice” has an unclear grammatical construction. The long sentence beginning “For example, the administrators could start…” also needs clearer control of its clause structure and punctuation. Revising these patterns would improve accuracy while retaining your range of sentence forms.

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