Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. While the statement could potentially be true I find the need to disagree. In this essay I will explain why I disagree with the statement.

Being rich is a state of mind, while some measure it by the amount of money in their bank accounts, I believe that richness or abundance is a personal mentality. It is a way of thinking that helps people move through life in a self-fulfilling way. For example, being content with what one has, such as a rented apartment, a companion or even a good book they look forward to reading.

While money is good, and if found to have an excess, it could be used to donate money to charities that help make other people's lives easier, one should realise that it is one's mentality that truly makes a difference. You should want to give the money out of the goodness of your heart and not because people believe that you must donate your well earned money. For example, Bill Gates' foundation was started because he believed he wanted to help children in need.

To conclude, I disagree with the statement for the reasons stated above. Being rich does not necessarily mean an abundance of money. However, if someone finds themselves having extra money they do not currently have a need for, they should be able to donate it if they wish to do so. Not because someone else holds a moral compass over their heads.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you disagree that helping others is the most important aspect of being rich, and you explain that wealth can also mean contentment rather than money. The examples of a rented apartment and Bill Gates’s foundation are relevant, but the discussion does not fully establish what you consider most important about being rich; the essay focuses more on personal choice and the morality of donating. The argument is therefore only partly developed, particularly in the second body paragraph. The response also contains 242 words, so it is 8 words below the 250-word minimum; the 19 words copied from the task prompt are excluded. Develop your central reason further and add a specific explanation of how it answers the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction states your position, two paragraphs develop related points, and a conclusion restates your view. Linking phrases such as “For example” and “To conclude” help readers follow the progression. However, the opening repeats the same point in “I find the need to disagree” and “In this essay I will explain why I disagree,” and some connections between ideas could be clearer. In particular, the shift from defining richness as a state of mind to discussing charitable donations is not fully explained. The final paragraph also repeats earlier claims rather than bringing the reasoning together. Reduce the repeated signposting and use clearer links to show how each paragraph supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss wealth, contentment and giving, including “abundance,” “self-fulfilling,” “donate” and “moral compass.” These choices make the main ideas understandable, and there is some attempt to use less common expressions. At times, however, wording is imprecise or repetitive: “richness or abundance” does not clearly distinguish the concepts, while “money is good” is too general for this argument. “A rented apartment, a companion or even a good book” gives concrete examples, but the phrasing could be more concise and natural. Aim for more precise collocations and vary repeated references to money and being rich; this would make the argument sound more controlled and flexible.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex structures, including the concessive opening “While the statement could potentially be true” and the conditional construction “if someone finds themselves having extra money.” Most sentences communicate your meaning clearly. Some punctuation and sentence-boundary choices are less controlled: “Being rich is a state of mind, while some measure it by the amount of money in their bank accounts, I believe…” joins two contrasting structures with commas, making the sentence awkward. The opening also needs a comma after “true.” In “For example, Bill Gates’ foundation was started because he believed he wanted to help,” the sequence of verbs is grammatically possible but cumbersome. Use a full stop or semicolon to separate the opening contrast, and check punctuation and clause structure when combining ideas.

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