Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people believe that one of the main cause of being rich is to help other needy persons and poor. I strongly agree with this suggestions because this thing provides mental satisfaction and Allah's reward in this world and hereafter, although it may have certain negative impacts in the society because of enhancement of more number of people, becoming habitual and not focusing on their own small work or businesses.

On one side, Some individuals say that one of the major reason behind being rich is helping other and giving them assiatance whenever they need. This is a good thing because it provides more and more resources and wealth from Allah's side and Allah like this activity as described in Holy Book Quran. Its a great blessing and source of being escape out of sins and punishment in the world of the day. For example, Allah says its a sadka to help others in any case. The more people help others, the more Allah help him/her. because human are the resource by Allah towards that person. Moreover, this actvity also make the people more kind and generous to the people, ultimately the sources of relieving pain.

On the other hand, always helping other in different cases like money, wealth and in other supports also have negative impacts in the society, because of laziness of them, ultimately increasing the number of helpseekers as compared to helpers. For example, when people help others, then more and more people become habitaul of getting assistance from others. They dont like to work hard to best in thier lives because of the availability all assitance. In this ways, society enhance the number of such people, and they cant play any role in the development of the community.

To conclude, although helping other is the great a sources of being rich because of God's willness, mental satisfaction of the human and sadaka jaria, but still it may have serious consequences for the progress of the city or society. So there must be proper balance between both things to miantain a good and sustainble population.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that helping others is an important benefit of wealth, and you also acknowledge possible drawbacks. The discussion of spiritual reward and mental satisfaction is relevant, as is the concern that repeated assistance could discourage some recipients from working. However, the response only partly addresses the wording of the question: it does not clearly compare this opportunity with other important aspects of being rich, such as security or personal freedom. Several claims, including that helping increases the number of people who seek help, are asserted rather than carefully explained. Develop the central argument with specific reasoning and examples, and clarify how far you agree that helping others is the most important thing about wealth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting benefits and drawbacks, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow the broad direction of your argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to track: the first body paragraph moves from religious reward to escaping punishment and then to kindness without clearly linking these points. Connectors such as “On one side” and “On the other hand” provide basic signposting, but some transitions are mechanical, and references such as “this thing” and “both things” are vague. Organise each paragraph around one main point, explain it in a logical sequence, and use more precise referencing and transitions to make the relationships between ideas clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “mental satisfaction,” “generous,” “assistance,” and “development of the community.” However, the range is limited by repeated general words such as “help,” “people,” and “things,” while several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear: “one of the main cause of being rich,” “sources of relieving pain,” and “a good and sustainable population.” Spelling errors such as “assiatance,” “habitaul,” and “miantain” also reduce accuracy. These issues sometimes make the intended meaning harder to understand. Build a more precise range for discussing wealth, charitable support, and dependency, and check spelling and natural word combinations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a concession in the opening and a conditional-style explanation of how assistance may affect recipients. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some ideas difficult to follow. Examples include “one of the major reason … is helping other,” “this activity also make the people,” and “the more Allah help him/her,” where agreement and plural forms are not controlled. Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “Its a great blessing” and the run-on sequence beginning “For example, Allah says…”. Practise checking subject–verb agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries, and use shorter, accurate sentences before adding more complex structures.

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