Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Rich people can create lots of new opportunites in the socity. Some people believe that a rich persons have the ability to give benefits to others. I strongly agree to this opinion because it will provide equlality, given employment, and development of socity.

Firstly the main benefit to helping poor people will create combination berween people which build equaity in srounded environment. When anyone gives money to other paople he fill iner peace. For example, rich person can give school fee to those childern who can not pay their fesses. So, through this payment a child can build a well developed future. Moreover, they can give employment to those people who have not job. Consequently a town may improve.

Secondly, the other advantage can give for those people who have not money for treatment. Specially old people those can not go to hospital for medicine. For example in developing countries many individuals have not availability of treatment wealthy people may help those people and expand their life spain. As a result, some viral disease will not transform to other people. Futhermore, if equality increase in human habitate the crime rate will also decrease which will give benefit to overall economy of country. Therefore, through small helps we can create a significant improvement in over srounded.

In conclusion, helping deserving people through diffrent methods such as, given employment, pay school fees. help in disease treatment might develop a equal socity where everyone can get education treatment and three time meal in a day.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that helping others is an important benefit of wealth. You address this through education, employment, healthcare, and the possible effect on crime, with examples such as paying school fees and supporting people who need treatment. These are relevant ideas and give the response a clear focus. However, the essay does not fully explore the wording “the most important thing”: it explains why helping is beneficial, but does not compare this with other possible benefits of being rich or clarify why helping others is the most important one. Some points, particularly the link between equality and lower crime, are asserted rather than explained. Develop that reasoning and support each main point more fully to strengthen the response further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signposted by “Firstly” and “Secondly,” and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow the main topics, and examples generally appear alongside the relevant point. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear. In the first body paragraph, the move from inner peace to school fees, employment, and town improvement feels like a list rather than a connected argument. The second paragraph also shifts from medical support to disease transmission, crime, and the economy without clearly showing how each link follows. Some connectors, including “Moreover,” “Consequently,” and “Therefore,” are used mechanically. Use clearer topic sentences and explain the relationship between each supporting idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to social issues, including “employment,” “equality,” “treatment,” “crime rate,” and “overall economy.” This gives you some useful language for discussing the topic. However, the range is limited and several spelling errors or inaccurate word choices make parts difficult to understand, such as “opportunites,” “srounded,” “life spain,” and “human habitate.” Some phrases are also unnatural, for example “create combination between people” and “expand their life span.” Aim to learn accurate collocations and check spelling carefully; precise, natural phrasing will make your ideas clearer. Repeating broad terms such as “help” and “people” less often would also improve variety.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple sentences and some attempts at more complex structures, including clauses beginning “because,” “which,” and “if.” This shows an effort to vary sentence forms. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and verb forms sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “a rich persons have” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “the main benefit to helping poor people will create” does not form a clear grammatical relationship between the subject and verb. The final sentence also contains a list that is not joined into a complete, well-punctuated structure. Practise building accurate basic sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check that each sentence has a clear subject and verb.

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