Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Some people hold the view that the most significant aspect of being wealthy is having the chance to help other people. I completely agree with this as rich people can engage in charity work and create employment opportunities for local communities.

To begin with, I believe wealthy individuals have the unique ability to assist less fortunate people of society with philanthropy and charity project. This means that people in need such as underprivileged children can have a chance to attend higher education with the funding of new schools and academies by CEOs who have made billions from their business. For instance, Warren Buffet a famous wall street trader and a billionaire donated a large proportion of his wealth on philanthropic causes over the past decade, particularly in the education sector. This has helped countless youngsters from poor families that could not afford a decent education.

Another important point to consider is that, rich people can create many opportunities at local business level bringing new jobs to the local community. With investment from many shops and factories millionaires and top executives can be opened up, resulting in towns that have low employment being transformed. economically. To illustrate this, Chencho from Tserang (a place in Bhutan) benefited greatly from Loden foundation started by one of the rich men Called Lopon Karma Phonkho, who now has his own running mini farming. This resulted in many job opportunities for unemployed youngsters.

To sum up, I firmly believe that, the wealthy can assist others through investment in communities, Thus benefiting poorer members of society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses the prompt clearly, maintaining a consistent position throughout. The arguments regarding philanthropy and job creation are relevant and supported by specific examples, such as Warren Buffett and the Loden Foundation. However, the development is somewhat limited; the essay could have been strengthened by exploring the counter-argument or discussing the 'extent' of the importance (e.g., comparing helping others to other benefits of wealth like personal freedom or influence). While the ideas are relevant, they remain at a somewhat general level. The conclusion is brief but restates the position effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central topic sentence. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with', 'For instance', and 'Another important point to consider'. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the sentence 'With investment from many shops and factories millionaires and top executives can be opened up' is syntactically confusing, which disrupts the logical progression of the argument. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to convey their ideas clearly. There is an attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary such as 'philanthropy', 'underprivileged', and 'economic transformation'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'assist less fortunate people of society' (should be 'in society') and 'resulted in many job opportunities for unemployed youngsters' (slightly redundant). The phrase 'can be opened up' is used incorrectly in the context of millionaires. A wider range of precise, academic vocabulary would be needed for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are clear, there are several grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's flow. Examples include 'donated a large proportion of his wealth on philanthropic causes' (preposition error: 'to'), 'families that could not afford' (should be 'which'), and 'resulted in towns that have low employment being transformed. economically' (punctuation error). The sentence 'With investment from many shops and factories millionaires and top executives can be opened up' is structurally flawed. Despite these errors, the meaning is generally conveyed without significant confusion.

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