Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some people argue that the most important thing about making a lot of money is that they can help others financially and by food and clothes and all the reasonable things they need. While other think that the important thing about being rich is that they can look after the needs of their families properly. I agree that people must take care of the needs of their family first because they are the ones who stood by his side and sacrifice their desires for him. The important thing about being rich to some people is that by this way they can help the needy and poor people. They provide them job opportunities if any educated person is looking for job and he is from a poor family and he is eligible for that job. Moreover, they can meet the needs of poor by many ways like they can help them financially, by giving them food and they can also build shelter homes for those who don't have place to live. For instance, many shelter homes in India are owned by the people who do not inherited wealth from their forefathers but they work hard to be rich and now they are working for humanity. While other think that by being wealthy they can look after their family in a better way. They can look after the needs of their loved ones who made sacrifices for them and who stood by his side in every harsh condition. Furthermore, they have opportunities to complete the wishes of their parents, siblings and other members of family. They can provide good lifestyle to their children . For instance, many people in Africa are working hard to provide their family a good lifestyle. I think that people must look after their family first because they are the ones we belong to and they faced many harsh conditions just for the sake of our good future so, we have to make money for them and give them a good lifestyle and make their all wishes complete.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the altruistic potential of wealth and the importance of family responsibility. You clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive. For instance, the points about helping the poor and supporting family are mentioned multiple times without adding significant new depth. To reach a higher band, ensure each paragraph introduces a distinct, well-supported argument rather than restating the same concept in different words. The examples provided, such as shelter homes in India, are relevant and help support your position effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices like 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', and 'For instance' to link ideas. However, the transition between sentences can sometimes feel mechanical or repetitive. Additionally, there are issues with pronoun consistency; for example, you switch between 'they' (referring to rich people) and 'he' (referring to an individual) within the same context, which can confuse the reader. Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring consistent referencing would strengthen the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific vocabulary such as 'altruistic', 'humanity', and 'eligible'. However, there is a reliance on basic phrasing like 'good lifestyle' and 'make money'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise collocations and less common lexical items. For example, instead of 'make money', you could use 'accumulate wealth' or 'attain financial success'. There are also minor errors in word choice, such as 'by food and clothes' instead of 'through the provision of food and clothing'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and article usage (e.g., 'While other think' should be 'While others think'; 'looking for job' should be 'looking for a job'). Additionally, some sentences are slightly awkward in their construction, such as 'by this way they can help'. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency and accuracy of the text.

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