Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some people believe that if they will become wealthy, they can help the society in fulfilling their needs. I agree with this statement but it has another other perspective as well.

Financial stability is crucial in supporting and building assets for needy people. Many people have soft corner for the society. Especially for those who are in need of treatment, employment, and groceries. Their come the hurdles of not being able to help them. So, people pray and try to become rich so that they can create opportunities for the people. For example, we see many aged people burning midnight oil to just earn money for fulfilling their needs. Atfer watching them our heart started sobbing but we can not do anything. If we have enough money we can purchase food for them, give them money for their treatment. A famous footballer Ronaldo built many of the houses and hospitals for the poor people. The reason is just that he has enough money to spend on people. The society also know hime due to his kindnees and wealth.

On the contrary, we don't always need money to create opportunities for people. We can provide them consolation with our kind words, Sometimes words are enough, when money can not work. For instance, when a person has all the resources but he is losing heart due to continuous loss in his company. He just needs some words of motivation to keep up his stamina. So, only wealth is not required to keep bring happiness in someone's life. Our warm gestures and an exciting greeting can some time do what money can not.

In conclusion, being rich and able to assist people has its importance. But we can do more without being wealthy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the role of wealth in helping others and providing a counter-argument. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the example of Ronaldo is relevant but lacks depth, and the counter-argument regarding emotional support is a bit simplistic. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on your points with more nuanced reasoning or specific examples that demonstrate a deeper understanding of the societal implications of wealth. The conclusion is also quite brief and could better synthesize the main points discussed in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. There is a progression of ideas from the benefits of wealth to the alternative of emotional support. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'Their come the hurdles' (likely meant 'There come') and 'Atfer watching them'. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the transitions between sentences could be smoother to improve the flow of the argument. Overall, the structure is coherent, but the range of linking words is somewhat limited, which prevents a higher score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the message to be conveyed clearly. You use some relevant terms like 'financial stability' and 'assets'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'soft corner for the society', 'heart started sobbing', and 'keep bring happiness'. These errors occasionally distract the reader. To improve, focus on learning more natural collocations and idiomatic expressions. The range of vocabulary is sufficient for a Band 6, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('The society also know hime'), tense inconsistencies ('if they will become wealthy'), and spelling mistakes ('Atfer', 'hime', 'kindnees'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and sentence structure variety would be highly beneficial.

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