Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today rapidly evolving world, the matter of being rich has become widespread and prompting a intense debate among people. While some people firmly believe that helping others is the most significant aspect of wealth. I totally disagree with this statement, as it is evident that financial power serves personal freedom and security.

Wealthy individuals possess the ability to fund the charity organizations, establish educational scholarships and invest in medical center that can transform communities. For instance, famous Bill Gates have successfully eradicated the diseases from many developing countries through targeted foundations.

However, I firmly believe that value of money lies in the personal independence and safety. The people that are rich have chance to get good quality education and a comfortable living standard. Financial abundance also provides safety against economic instability. Furthermore, wealth brings the freedom to pursue personal passions and derive economic growth without any resistant.

To put in a nutshell, while being rich gives you a ultimate chance to help needy people in the world but it is not the most vital element its main aim to prov

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 181 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas, as the conclusion is incomplete and the arguments are underdeveloped. While you clearly state your position, the brevity prevents a full exploration of the topic. To improve, you must expand your supporting points with more detailed explanations and examples. The current length forces a superficial treatment of the prompt, which limits your ability to fully address all parts of the task as required for higher bands.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'However', 'For instance', and 'Furthermore' to link your thoughts. However, the abrupt ending of the essay disrupts the overall flow and coherence. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the lack of a completed conclusion makes the structure feel unfinished. To improve, ensure that you have enough time to fully develop your final paragraph and use a wider variety of linking words to connect your sentences more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as 'financial power', 'economic instability', and 'eradicated'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'a intense debate' (an intense) and 'the value of money' (the value of money). You also have some awkward phrasing like 'derive economic growth without any resistant'. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, you should aim for more precise word choices and ensure you are using articles and nouns correctly to reach a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'In today rapidly evolving world' (In today's), 'famous Bill Gates have' (has), and 'the people that are rich have chance' (the chance). These errors are noticeable but do not generally impede communication. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, the correct use of articles, and possessive forms. Increasing your control over these basic grammatical elements will significantly improve the clarity and professional tone of your writing.

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