Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In Today's world being rich is as important as being eductated in our society. There are many belief on how to become rich, and what opportunities individual get to help the society for the betterment in future. There are evidence where they tend to help others by providing the needs or something. Both of the viewpoints are further discussed.

On the one hand, Individuals which has an advantage of being rich, or able to afford things that a middle income groups have difficulty to do, often helps by providing minimum things. Moreover, it is not just about the money or income that an person earns is higher than a another individual, but its about the right decision the person is taking for the future. For instance, there are many billionaires in my home country India. Whereas, they tend to help other for just able to look better. On the other hand, Mr Ambani, has opened Vantara which is one of the biggest animal sanctuary working right now, which is beneifical for everyone in terms like the wild animals are safe there from the hunters, many people are getting employed upon the skills they have developed and many others.

On the other hand, it is not compulsory that being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others as person with a less income or financial incentives can still be helpful to others in multiple ways. For example, Mr Sonam Wangchuk, an Indian engineer and educator who has little less financial aids, but still he went on hunger strike for the accountability for the paper leaks done in India, which had an drastic impact on politicians.

In conclusion, it could be that eing rich is that one has the opportunity to help others but its not compulsory that the person always be fruitful, so it can be dependent on individuals that how effectively they tend to help others in any possible ways.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing whether wealth is the primary means to help others. You present a clear position, acknowledging that while wealth provides resources, it is not the only way to contribute to society. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The example of Mr. Ambani is relevant, but the explanation of why billionaires help others 'just to look better' is a generalization that lacks sufficient depth. The second body paragraph provides a good counter-example with Mr. Wangchuk, which strengthens your argument. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully explained rather than just stated, and avoid sweeping generalizations about the motivations of wealthy individuals.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand' and 'In conclusion' to signal the structure of your argument. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where referencing is unclear, such as the phrase 'providing minimum things' which lacks specific context. Additionally, some transitions feel repetitive. To improve, try to use a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensure that each sentence logically follows the previous one to create a more seamless progression of ideas throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'billionaires', 'sanctuary', and 'financial incentives'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and minor errors, such as 'many belief' instead of 'many beliefs' and 'providing the needs' which is not a standard collocation. Some phrasing is also slightly awkward, such as 'the person always be fruitful'. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and refining your use of academic vocabulary to ensure more precise expression of your thoughts.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt to use complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues like 'Individuals which has' (should be 'who have') and 'a person... are' (should be 'is'). There are also punctuation and spelling errors, such as 'eing' instead of 'being' and 'drastic' used where 'drastic' is correct but the sentence structure is slightly clunky. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading and practice with complex grammatical forms.

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