Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

FEW PEOPLE SAY THAT PROMINENT THING ABOUT BEING RICH IS THAT ONE HAS OPPORTUNITY TO HELP OTHERS. MEANWHILE, I WOULD AGREE WITH THE ABOVE STATEMENT TO A MAJOR EXTENT AND REASONS TO SUPPORT IT WILL BE EXPLAINED IN THE ENSURING PARAGRAPHS, ALONG WITH EXAMPLE.

DISCUSSING THE REASONS TO SUPPORT MY AGREEMENT, THE MOST EVIDENT ONE IS SUPPORT PEOPLE IN POVERTY. TO JUSTIFY IT FURTHER, WEALTHY INDIVIDUALS CAN PROVID FOOD, CLOTHING, HOUSING AND FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE TO DISADVANTAGED PEOPLE. FOR INSTANCE, RICH PEOPLE COULD FUND AFFORDABLE HOUSING FOR HOMELESS PERSON. RICH PEOPLE COULD FINANCE SCHOOL, LIBRARIES, WATER TREATMENT PLANTS FOR GIVE THE EQUALE OPPERTUNITY WHO ACTUALLY NEEDED.RICH PEOPLE CAN INVEST THEIR MONEY IN NEW BUSINESS TO CREATE A EMPLOYMENT AND JOBS. ALSO RICH PEOPLE CAN MAKE LARGE DONATIONS AFTER FLOODS AND OTHER NATURAL DISASTERS.

FURTHERMORE, ANOTHER ONE SUPPORTING REASONS FOR MY BELIEF IS RICH PEOPLE CAN PROVID THE EDUCATION AND SCHOLARSHIPS FOR STUDENTS WHO BELONGS TO LOW INCOME FAMILIES. FOR EXAMPLE, WEALTHY BUSINESSMAN CAN PAY UNIVERSITY FEES FOR TELENTED STUDENTS. WELTHY PEOPLE CAN FINANCE HOSPITALS, MEDICINES AND MEDICAL RESEARCH. TO BE MORE PRECISE, BILL GATES DONATED BILLIONS WEALTH TO GLOBLE HEALTH RESEARCH.

HOWEVER, SOME RICH INDIVIDUALS MAY FOCUS ON LUXARY GOODS, EXPENSIVE CARS RATHER THAN HELPING OTHERS. BEING RICH ALSO PROVID THE FINACIAL SECURITY AND FREEDOM. THIS CAN MAKE PERSONAL COMFORT AND STATUES. THEREFORE, HELPING OTHERS MAY BE IMPORTANT.

IN CONCLUSION, IN THIS CONTEMPORARY ERA, THERE IS EQUALLY POTENTIAL EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT THE ARGUMENT I HAVE PROVIDED, HENCE, I TOTALLY AGREE WITH THE STATEMENT ABOUT BEING RICH IS OPPORTUNITY TO HELP OTHERS.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. The ideas are relevant, focusing on poverty alleviation, education, and infrastructure. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. For instance, the list of items rich people can fund (food, clothing, housing) is a bit mechanical. While the prompt is addressed, the arguments could be more nuanced to reach a higher band. The conclusion is a bit simplistic, merely restating the agreement rather than synthesising the points made. Overall, the response is a solid attempt that covers all parts of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. There is a logical progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs and the conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'furthermore', 'for instance', 'in conclusion'). Some transitions between sentences feel abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'for give the equale oppertunity who actually needed.' Improving the variety and natural flow of linking words would enhance the coherence of the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are several spelling errors (e.g., 'prominent' instead of 'primary', 'oppertunity', 'equale', 'telented', 'luxary', 'globel'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors are frequent enough to be noticeable. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on basic terms. To improve, you should focus on using more sophisticated collocations and ensuring accurate spelling of common academic words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include missing articles (e.g., 'provide food', 'create a employment'), subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'students who belongs'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'for give the equale oppertunity'). While the meaning is usually understandable, the frequency of these errors suggests a need for more careful proofreading and a better grasp of basic sentence construction and article usage.

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