Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

FEW PEOPLE SAY THAT THE PROMINENT THING ABOUT BEING RICH IS THAT ONE HAS THE OPPORTUNITY TO HELP OTHERS. MEANWHILE, I WOULD AGREE WITH THE ABOVE STATEMENT TO A MAJOR EXTENT AND REASONS TO SUPPORT IT WILL BE EXPLAINED IN THE ENSUING PARAGRAPHS, ALONG WITH EXAMPLES.

DISCUSSING THE REASONS TO SUPPORT MY AGREEMENT, THE MOST EVIDENT ONE IS SUPPORTING PEOPLE IN POVERTY. TO JUSTIFY IT FURTHER, WEALTHY INDIVIDUALS CAN PROVIDE FOOD, CLOTHING, HOUSING AND FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE TO DISADVANTAGED PEOPLE. FOR INSTANCE, RICH PEOPLE COULD FUND AFFORDABLE HOUSING FOR HOMELESS PEOPLE. RICH PEOPLE COULD FINANCE SCHOOLS, LIBRARIES, WATER TREATMENT PLANTS TO GIVE EQUAL OPPORTUNITIES TO THOSE WHO ACTUALLY NEED THEM. RICH PEOPLE CAN INVEST THEIR MONEY IN NEW BUSINESSES TO CREATE EMPLOYMENT AND JOBS. ALSO, RICH PEOPLE CAN MAKE LARGE DONATIONS AFTER FLOODS AND OTHER NATURAL DISASTERS.

FURTHERMORE, ANOTHER SUPPORTING REASON FOR MY BELIEF IS THAT RICH PEOPLE CAN PROVIDE EDUCATION AND SCHOLARSHIPS FOR STUDENTS WHO BELONG TO LOW-INCOME FAMILIES. FOR EXAMPLE, A WEALTHY BUSINESSMAN CAN PAY UNIVERSITY FEES FOR TALENTED STUDENTS. WEALTHY PEOPLE CAN FINANCE HOSPITALS, MEDICINES AND MEDICAL RESEARCH. TO BE MORE PRECISE, BILL GATES DONATED BILLIONS OF HIS WEALTH TO GLOBAL HEALTH RESEARCH.

HOWEVER, SOME RICH INDIVIDUALS MAY FOCUS ON LUXURY GOODS AND EXPENSIVE CARS RATHER THAN HELPING OTHERS. BEING RICH ALSO PROVIDES FINANCIAL SECURITY AND FREEDOM. THIS CAN PROVIDE PERSONAL COMFORT AND STATUS. THEREFORE, HELPING OTHERS MAY BE IMPORTANT.

IN CONCLUSION, IN THIS CONTEMPORARY ERA, THERE IS EQUALLY POTENTIAL EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT THE ARGUMENT I HAVE PROVIDED. HENCE, I TOTALLY AGREE WITH THE STATEMENT THAT BEING RICH PROVIDES AN OPPORTUNITY TO HELP OTHERS.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the role of wealth in helping others. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development is somewhat repetitive, as the second paragraph lists several ways to help (food, housing, schools, jobs) without fully exploring the implications of these actions. The counter-argument in the fourth paragraph is brief and lacks a strong connection to the main argument, making the overall development feel slightly unbalanced. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more depth in your analysis rather than listing multiple examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with clear paragraphing. Each paragraph has a central theme. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. For instance, the phrase 'Rich people' is used at the start of almost every sentence in the second paragraph, which creates a stilted flow. While the progression of ideas is clear, the transition between the main argument and the counter-argument is abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and using referencing (e.g., 'these individuals' instead of repeating 'rich people') would significantly enhance the cohesion of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the sophistication required for higher bands. There is a heavy reliance on simple, repetitive phrasing such as 'rich people' and 'help others'. While you successfully use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'disadvantaged', 'financial assistance', and 'natural disasters', the range is limited. To improve, you should incorporate more precise synonyms and collocations to avoid repetition and demonstrate a more flexible command of the English language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most sentences are grammatically correct, and errors are infrequent and do not impede communication. However, the range of structures is somewhat limited; there is a tendency to use repetitive sentence patterns starting with the subject. While you demonstrate control over basic grammar, you need to incorporate a wider variety of complex structures—such as conditional sentences, passive voice, or relative clauses—to showcase a higher level of grammatical flexibility.

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