Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

A number of people believe having lots of money is crucial as it encourages supporting others that are less privileged. I undoubtedly support this notion in many ways like the more the number of wealthy people the more the philanthropist. Although the different views of people will be extensively discussed in the paragraphs below.

On the positive side of having more philanthropists as a result of the large number of the rich, it makes the people they help less dependent on the government as this part of the world citizens have little or no benefits from the government. Modernization is being more exposed by the wealthy who does real estate and property development, that is making available shelter for others at an affordable rate. This is to mention a few out of the other benefits.

On the other hand having money can create a certain level of classism between the rich and the poor thereby making it nearly impossible for them to cross paths. Some people that have more money than the others reach for those that has way more than them so stay relevant and re

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, as it is only 187 words long. This significantly impacts the development of ideas, which remain superficial and incomplete. While you state your position clearly in the introduction, the arguments provided in the body paragraphs are under-developed and lack sufficient supporting evidence or examples. Furthermore, the essay ends abruptly in the middle of a sentence, indicating that the task was not completed. To improve, you must ensure you write at least 250 words and provide a full, logical conclusion that summarizes your main points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay shows some attempt at logical organization through the use of transition signals like 'On the positive side' and 'On the other hand'. However, the progression of ideas is hampered by the incomplete nature of the text. Paragraphing is present, but the final paragraph is cut off, which disrupts the overall flow. Cohesive devices are used in a somewhat mechanical way, and there are instances where the connection between sentences is weak, such as in the second paragraph where the transition to 'Modernization' feels abrupt and lacks a clear link to the topic of philanthropy.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic phrasing such as 'lots of money' and 'different views of people'. There are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'the more the philanthropist' (which is grammatically incorrect) and 'Modernization is being more exposed'. To achieve a higher score, you should aim to use more sophisticated collocations and academic vocabulary, and ensure that your word choices are contextually appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the more the number of wealthy people the more the philanthropist' and 'those that has way more than them'. Subject-verb agreement is inconsistent, and there are issues with article usage and sentence fragments. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the text from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy will be essential for your progress.

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