Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

One school of thought believe that the most significant thing about being wealthy is that one gets the opportunity to help others. While others oppos this view. I partially agree with the notion and reasons for my inclination are discussed in the ensuing paragraph.

Looking at the former side, rich people can help others .

Wealth gives individuals the power to address structural societal issues that ordinary citizens or governments struggle to fund—such as building schools, funding medical research, or providing global disaster relief. Additionally once basic material needs are met, using wealth to help others provides a deep sense of fulfillment and self-actualization, allowing wealthy individuals to leave a meaningful legacy. Lastly ,direct financial support, scholarship funds, and charitable foundations allow wealthy individuals to uplift disadvantaged communities and level the playing field.

On the other hand ,the primary and most fundamental purpose of money is to secure food, shelter, quality healthcare, and insulation against economic crises for oneself and one's family. Wealth provides time freedom and the liberty to pursue personal passions, higher education, or career goals without the pressure of financial survival. Wealth doesn't just help others through charity; investing capital into starting businesses, funding innovation, and creating jobs helps society directly through market growth and employment.

In conclusion, while using one’s financial resources to assist disadvantaged communities is a noble and impactful privilege of wealth, I only partially agree that it is its most important aspect. Safeguarding personal security, achieving individual autonomy, and driving economic growth through capital investment are equally fundamental benefits of financial prosperity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You have successfully balanced the argument by acknowledging the importance of helping others while providing a strong counter-argument regarding personal security and economic contribution. The ideas are relevant and well-supported with examples like 'building schools' and 'funding innovation'. To reach a higher band, ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points of your argument to provide a more comprehensive roadmap for the reader. Overall, the development is logical and directly answers the 'to what extent' aspect of the question.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. You use some cohesive devices effectively, such as 'Additionally' and 'On the other hand'. However, there are some minor issues with punctuation and spacing, such as the space before the comma in 'On the other hand ,the' and the awkward sentence fragment in the introduction. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring consistent punctuation would enhance the flow and cohesion of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.0

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary suitable for an academic task, using terms like 'structural societal issues', 'self-actualization', and 'individual autonomy'. There are some minor errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'oppos' instead of 'oppose' and the slightly awkward phrasing 'One school of thought believe' (should be 'believes'). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your ideas with precision, incorporating more sophisticated collocations and ensuring absolute accuracy in spelling would elevate your score. Your ability to use topic-specific language is a clear strength.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There are some grammatical slips, such as subject-verb agreement errors ('One school of thought believe') and minor punctuation issues (e.g., the period placement in the first paragraph). Despite these, your meaning is always clear, and the errors do not impede communication. To improve, focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your punctuation around introductory phrases and conjunctions is consistent. You have a solid grasp of complex structures, but increasing the frequency of error-free sentences will help you reach a higher band.

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