Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In our society of today, a lot of people believe that the being able to render help to others is the most important factor about being rich. I'm strongly disagree to this because I believe that being generous comes from the heart and circumstances.

It's true that when some people are rich, they help others but a greater percentage of rich people are very stingy and this is as a result of some reasons. Firstly, some people naturally don't like giving or helping people, whether rich or poor. Some wealthy men are too stingy to the point that they are also stingy to themselves. For example, in a news forcast that was delivered yesterday, they told a story of a very rich man who died leaving a lot of wealth but his family cannot access it. In the news it was said that the man didn't help people including his nuclear family. The wife struggled to fend for herself and the kids, and the man died without giving details of his properties or documents to anyone.

Also, the rate of crimes in our society has made people to reserve their money for themselves. Kidnapping has become the order of the day, so rich men are scared of leaving their houses. Most rich men try to protect themselves by not helping or letting anyone into their space. Also, wealthy men don't only try to protect themselves from kidnappers but also from people who use diabolic powers. These rich men have realised that most times, people don't appreciate the good works they do for them, rather they plan for their downfall. Hence, most rich men don't like assisting other people in other to safeguard themselves.

Finally, some wealthy people believe that they suffered to make money and so every other person needs to suffer. This is why some rich men don't feel empathy for others. They feel like it's inappropriate for a person to benefit from what took them years of sweat to gather.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position against the idea that helping others is the most important aspect of wealth. However, the development is somewhat one-sided. You focus heavily on why rich people are 'stingy' (e.g., fear of crime, lack of empathy), which explains why they might not help, but you do not fully explore the counter-argument or the broader implications of the prompt. The ideas are relevant but could be more nuanced to reach a higher band. To improve, ensure you address the 'extent' of your agreement more comprehensively by acknowledging the complexity of the topic rather than just listing reasons for stinginess.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central theme. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Also', and 'Finally' to signal the progression of your arguments. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing could be more sophisticated. For instance, the transition between the example of the stingy man and the broader point about crime is a bit abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between ideas would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'empathy', 'diabolic', and 'safeguard'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'news forcast' (forecast) and 'in other to' (in order to). The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. To improve, focus on using more academic collocations and ensuring that your word choices are contextually appropriate. Avoid repetitive phrasing like 'rich men' or 'wealthy men' by using synonyms such as 'the affluent' or 'high-net-worth individuals'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'I'm strongly disagree' (I strongly disagree), 'the being able to' (the ability to), and 'in a news forcast that was delivered yesterday, they told a story' (passive voice would be more appropriate here). While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading and a better grasp of verb forms and article usage. Increasing the variety of complex structures while maintaining accuracy will help raise your score.

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