Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

It is undeniable that poverty become major concern in this modern era. In this regards, some people believe that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others especially poor masses. I agree to a large extent with this notion due to many reasons which will outline in forthcoming fragments before reaching to a logical conclusion.

To commence with, the primary advantage of accumulating wealth is the capacity it grants individuals to assist those in need. Firstly, wealthy people often participate in charity foundations and social welfare programs. To explain it, wealthy people can make a huge difference in the world by donating money to charities, funding hospitals or building schools. To illustrate, many rich individuals start foundations that help poor children get an education or medical care. Secondly, this allow to reduce poverty and directly contributes to the development of society. To elaborate it, this kind of help can change lives and improve society. Moreover, knowing that your money can make the world a better place gives a deep sense of purpose and happiness that buying things cannot replace.

However, money is also important for personal well-being and security. First and foremost, the most immediate benefit of wealth is that it removes financial stress. To justify it, rich people do not have to worry about paying for basic needs like housing, food,healthcare, or quality education for their children. To epitome, wealth gives people the freedom to make choices. It allows them to travel the world, pursue their hobbies and invest in new business ideas without the fear of losing everything. Therefore, personal comfort and independence are just as important as philanthropy.

To conclude, although there are several benefits in favor of latter point of view such as personal safety, comfort and freedom yet according to me the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. The arguments are relevant, with the first body paragraph focusing on the altruistic potential of wealth and the second acknowledging the personal benefits. While the ideas are logically presented, they could be further extended with more specific real-world examples or deeper analysis to reach a higher band. The conclusion clearly restates the writer's stance, ensuring the position remains consistent. Overall, the response is well-focused and directly answers the question asked.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate distinct ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Firstly', 'Moreover', and 'However' are used to guide the reader through the argument. While the flow is generally smooth, some transitions are slightly mechanical or repetitive in their structure (e.g., 'To explain it', 'To justify it', 'To elaborate it'). Improving the variety of these linking phrases would enhance the overall cohesion of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.0

The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the intended meaning clearly. There is an attempt to use topic-specific language such as 'social welfare programs', 'philanthropy', and 'financial stress'. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'poor masses' (which sounds slightly unnatural) and 'forthcoming fragments' (which is an unusual way to refer to paragraphs). The range is adequate for the task, but more sophisticated or idiomatic expressions would be needed to move into the higher band range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'poverty become major concern' (missing article and verb tense), 'this allow to reduce' (subject-verb agreement), and 'according to me' (which is better expressed as 'in my opinion'). While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede communication. The writer shows an ability to construct complex sentences, but the frequency of minor errors prevents a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage would be beneficial.

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