Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

It is undeniable that wealth is often associated with comfort and success, but many people believe that that its greatest value lies in the ability to improve the lives of others. In this regard, some people believe that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. I agree to a large extent with this notion due to many reasons which will outline in forthcoming fragments with logical conclusion.

To commence with, there are several reasons in favour of this notion. First and foremost is that wealth enables people to support and underprivileged people. To justify, Rich people can donate large amount of money to charity, orphanages, old age houses and hospitals. Their financial assistance can provide food, clear water, shelter, and medical treatment to people living in poverty. During natural disasters such as flood, earthquake, drought, wealthy individuals can also contribute to relief funds, helping affected people and families to recover much faster. Secondly, wealth helps improve education and healthcare. To explain, Affluent individuals can establish schools, colleges, universities and scholarship programs for talented students from low income families. As a result, children who cannot afford education receive equal opportunities to study and build successful careers. Similarly hospitals must be build and free of cost treatment must be given to those families who are below poverty line in the nation. Moreover, wealth creates employment and promotes economic growth. To clarify, rich people often invest in businesses, industries and factories and start ups generate the economic growth of the nation. Investing in these would require the people to work in it this would result in growth of employment rate.

However, there are some reasons which are against of this notion. Prime one is that wealth is also very important of personal and family well being. To elaborate, although helping others is a valuable use of money, being rich is not only about charity. Financial security allows individuals to provide a comfortable life to themselves and to their families as well, including high quality education and healthcare as well as luxurious lifestyle. They can invest in long term funds by which they can earn profit at their time of losses or whenever they needed.

To conclude, although there are several points in the favour of this statement such as support to underprivileged people, improves education and healthcare systems and creates employment yet there are some points which are against this notion can never be neglected at any cost.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5

The essay addresses the prompt well, providing a clear position that is maintained throughout. You have explored both the altruistic potential of wealth and the personal benefits of financial security. The ideas are relevant and generally well-developed, particularly in the body paragraphs where you provide concrete examples like charity and job creation. To reach a higher band, ensure that your conclusion does more than just list the points; it should synthesize your argument more effectively. Additionally, some points, such as the mention of 'old age houses', could be expanded slightly to show a deeper understanding of the societal impact of wealth.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Secondly', and 'Moreover' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are a bit mechanical or repetitive. For instance, the phrase 'To justify' and 'To explain' are used in a formulaic way. Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring that referencing (e.g., 'this notion') is always precise will help improve the flow. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with each paragraph focusing on a central theme.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with some precision. Phrases like 'financial assistance', 'affluent individuals', and 'economic growth' are used correctly. However, there are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'against of this notion' (should be 'against this notion') and 'old age houses' (more commonly 'nursing homes' or 'elderly care facilities'). To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more sophisticated, less common lexical items and ensure that collocations are natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that persist. Examples include 'which will outline' (should be 'which I will outline'), 'large amount of money' (should be 'large amounts of money'), and 'hospitals must be build' (should be 'built'). There are also occasional issues with article usage and subject-verb agreement. To improve, focus on proofreading for these small but frequent errors and try to vary your sentence structure further by using more advanced subordinating conjunctions.

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