Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is undeniable that wealthy people fullfil their needs eaisly.In this regard,some people opine that the most significant thing about being wealthy is that one has opportunity to help others.I agree to a large extent with this notion due to many reasons which will be outline in forthcoming fragments with logical conclusion.

To commence with,there are several benefits of being rich and good opportunity to help others. Firstly,Philanthropy and charitable donations.To clarify it,individuals have the financial capacity to donate generously to charitable organisations.Their contributions can provide food,education,healthcare and shelter to underprivileged communities.For instance,bill gates has donated billions of dollars through the gates foundation to improve global healthcare and education.Secondly,creating employment opportunities.To explain it,wealthy people often establish businesses that create numerous job opportunities.this reduces unemployment and enables individuals to earn a stable income.Moreover,funding social development projects.To justify it,wealthy people can finance schools,parks and libraries.they may also support disasters releif and environmental protections.As a result,many individuals sponser village development and clean drinking water projects.

Nevertheless,there are also other benefits of wealthy peoplewho help others.the prime one is that freedom to pursue personal goals.To eloborate it,rich people enjoy greater financial independence,allowing them to pusue their passions without worrying about income.they can travel,invest in new skills and start innovative ventures.For example,many successful enterpreneurs invest their wealth in research,innovation and projects that benefits both themselves and society.

To conclude,although there are several benefits of this statements such as charitable donations and creating employment opportunities yet the other factors can never be neglected at any cost.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You have provided relevant arguments, such as philanthropy and job creation, to support your agreement. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat formulaic, relying on a repetitive structure ('To clarify it', 'To explain it', 'To justify it'). While the main points are relevant, the conclusion is slightly weak as it introduces a contradictory point about personal goals that was not fully integrated into the main argument. To reach a higher band, ensure that all supporting points directly reinforce your central thesis rather than introducing tangential benefits of wealth.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Moreover' to link your points. However, the use of these devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. Additionally, there are issues with punctuation and spacing throughout the text (e.g., 'eaisly.In', 'fragments with logical conclusion.To', 'wealthy peoplewho'). These errors occasionally disrupt the flow of reading. Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring proper spacing after punctuation would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'underprivileged', 'philanthropy', and 'financial independence'. However, there are several spelling errors ('fullfil', 'eaisly', 'sponser', 'enterpreneurs', 'eloborate') and some awkward phrasing. The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. To improve, focus on mastering the spelling of common academic terms and try to incorporate more precise collocations rather than relying on basic descriptive phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is a positive step. However, the essay contains frequent grammatical errors, particularly regarding article usage ('the gates foundation', 'the most important thing'), subject-verb agreement, and capitalization (e.g., 'bill gates'). There are also consistent issues with missing spaces after periods and commas. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the overall score. Focusing on proofreading for basic punctuation and capitalization will help improve your accuracy.

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