Band 7.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 7.5)

A sector of society believes that the most essential thing about being wealthy is the opportunity to help the less privileged. I strongly agree with this notion because wealth can feel meaningless if one cannot help those around them and hoarding of riches will keep other people that have potentials to remain in poverty.

Firstly, riches in itself cannot give someone a sense of meaning or fulfilment. But if someone uses the money they have to empower others or put a smile on the faces of people they will feel accomplished and be more encouraged to give to others. Billionaires like Bill Gates find meaning in donating to orphanages rather than just buying luxurious items. In addition, when someone gets empowered and they make it to the limelight they can never forget those who stood by them and supported them when they were low.

Moreover, every human has a unique ability within them. Some have ideas and patents that could revolutionize the world, but without sponsorship these talents die within them. But if they can be empowered then they would be able to focus on self development rather than looking for their next meal. In addition, the riches one has remains in their accounts because they don't have a definite use for it, so if this idle wealth is used to provide a platform for self development the world would be a better place.

To conclude, I believe being rich should be more than just an avenue for satisfying one's self alone. Money should be given to those in need of it so these people may go on to develop themselves and make the world a better place. In this way the rich can have a sense of fulfilment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5

You have clearly addressed the prompt and maintained a consistent position throughout the essay. Your ideas are relevant, particularly the focus on personal fulfilment and the societal benefits of wealth redistribution. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, while you mention Bill Gates, the point could be further extended by explaining the broader economic impact of such philanthropy. The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance. To reach a higher band, ensure that each body paragraph contains a more nuanced exploration of the topic, perhaps by acknowledging the counter-argument that wealth can also be used for personal investment or innovation before refuting it.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', and 'Moreover' to signal the progression of your argument. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For instance, the transition between the idea of 'unique ability' and 'idle wealth' in the third paragraph is a bit abrupt. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas, which helps the reader follow your line of reasoning easily.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'less privileged', 'empower', 'fulfilment', and 'revolutionize'. There are some minor issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'hoarding of riches will keep other people that have potentials to remain in poverty' (should be 'potential') and 'make it to the limelight' (which is slightly informal). While you attempt to use more sophisticated vocabulary, some phrases feel slightly repetitive. Expanding your range of collocations and using more precise academic terminology would help elevate your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is generally effective. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'riches in itself cannot give' (should be 'themselves') and 'if they can be empowered then they would be able' (the conditional structure is slightly awkward). Punctuation is generally sound, though some sentences would benefit from more careful comma placement to improve readability. The majority of your sentences are clear, and errors do not impede communication, but more variety in complex structures and greater precision in subject-verb agreement would be beneficial.

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