Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

The question of whether or not rich people have the chance to help other, has long been a contentious topic. Within this context, a segment of society maintains the belief that one of the most important facts about being rich is that they have the opportunity to help others. From my perspective, the proposed suggestion seems convincing, therefore it is appropriate to accept it to a significant extent. Nevertheless, certain exceptions always exist, which cannot be disregarded completely. In this essay, I shall articulate my point of view by agreeing with the proposed statement.

The fundamental which validates my point of view is that helping other can give people to live their lives. By providing different platforms, such as letting them working in companies can help them to earn money. Many people who cannot get government jobs can work with rich people. For instance, in Pakistan rich people have built small businesses in various cities across Pakistan, which have given a number of jobs to public.

Another evidence which strengthens my narrative, is providing direct financial help to the needy people. For example, giving them funds to construct roads, clean water access, and shelters. Take the examples of billionaires around the world, such as Bill Gates which is helping a number of people and families in the world by donations and charities homes.

Paradoxically, some argue that rich people should invest more and more in their own business, in order to expand their assets, instead of helping others.

To conclude, the idea of helping others by rich people seems logical and worthy to a significant extent, as it offers opportunities to people and families to live a good life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You have identified the core argument—that wealth provides a platform for philanthropy—and supported it with relevant examples, such as the mention of Bill Gates and local business development in Pakistan. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The counter-argument paragraph is very brief and lacks sufficient depth to fully explore the 'extent' of your agreement. To reach a higher band, ensure that both sides of the argument are explored with equal analytical depth, and provide more nuanced explanations of how wealth facilitates social change beyond simple job creation.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In this essay,' 'For instance,' and 'To conclude' to guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel abrupt. For example, the transition to the counter-argument paragraph ('Paradoxically...') is a bit sudden. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that links back to your main thesis, creating a more seamless progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'contentious,' 'articulate,' and 'philanthropy' (implied). However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'giving them funds to construct roads, clean water access' (you cannot 'construct' access) and 'charities homes.' These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your writing. To improve, focus on learning collocations—words that naturally go together—and try to incorporate more sophisticated, topic-specific vocabulary to express your ideas with greater clarity and impact.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'helping other can give people to live their lives' (incorrect verb structure) and 'Bill Gates which is helping' (incorrect relative pronoun). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some unnecessary commas, such as after 'point of view' in the second paragraph. To reach a higher band, focus on subject-verb agreement, the correct use of relative pronouns, and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed accurately without losing clarity.

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