Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Student answer (Band 7.0)
Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is having the chance to help other people. In my opinion, helping others is a good thing, but I do not agree that it is the most important part of being wealthy. In this essay i will discuss both sides with examples and reasons.
On the one hand, rich people can really help poor people in many ways. A wealthy person has enough money to build free places for needy people. For example, some millionaires make free hospitals where poor patients get checkups and medicine without any money. This is a very good work because it saves many poor lives. But some aid just to build more fund not for the wallfare of society. To illustrate some donate a tiny part of their wealth and generate double revenue from it through social media.
On the other hand, many rich people do not help others just for kindness. In reality, a lot of millionaires give money to charity to become famous or to save their tax money. When they give a little money to charity, they get a good image in society and get more profit in their business. So, their main reason to give money is their own benefit, not helping individuals.
In conclusion, having wealth gives a good opportunity to assist poor people by making hospitals and giving charity. However, many rich people do this for fame and business profit. Therefore, helping others is a big benefit of money, but it is not the most important thing about being rich.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You acknowledge the potential for helping others but argue that it is not the most important aspect of wealth. The ideas are relevant, though the development is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding tax benefits and fame is a strong point, but it could have been expanded with more specific examples or a deeper analysis of why other factors (such as personal freedom or security) might be considered more important. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting arguments are fully explored rather than just stated.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The use of cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' helps guide the reader through your argument. However, some transitions between sentences feel slightly mechanical, and the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and each paragraph has a clear central topic. The progression of ideas is generally smooth, though some sentences could be more tightly linked to improve the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'wealthy', 'revenue', 'welfare', and 'charity' correctly. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and lacks the sophistication required for higher bands. There are instances where word choice could be more precise, such as using 'good work' instead of a more academic term like 'philanthropic endeavor'. Additionally, some phrasing is slightly informal or simplistic. To improve, try to incorporate more topic-specific collocations and avoid relying on basic adjectives like 'good' or 'big'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'some aid just to build more fund not for the wallfare' and 'In this essay i will discuss'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do indicate a lack of control over complex structures. Punctuation is generally fine, but capitalization of 'I' should be consistent. To achieve a higher score, focus on reducing minor errors and increasing the variety of complex sentence forms, such as using more conditional or passive structures.
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