Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Some people think that the main advantage of being rich is helping other people. In my view, helping poor people is a good thing, but it is not the only important thing about money. In this essay I will discuss both sides with reasons and examples.
On the one hand, rich people can help poor people in many ways. Wealthy individuals have a lot of money to give charity to needy people. For example, some millionaires make free hospitals for poor people. In these hospitals, poor patients get free treatment and medicine. This is very helpful because poor people cannot pay big hospital bills. Also they make useful buildings like school,college or universitys so the poor individuals not have to pay for education.
On the other hand, I think many rich people do not help others for real kindness. Most millionaires give money to charity because they want to become famous in society. Also, when they give charity, the government reduces their taxes. So, they give a small amount of money and get double benefits for their own business. Their main motive is personal gain, not social welfare. When they donate tiny amounts of funds to charity they make double revenue from their social media accounts.
In conclusion, having money gives a great chance to help poor people with free health facilities and charity. However, many rich people do this for fame and tax saving. Therefore, helping others is a good benefit of wealth, but it is not the most important thing.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing whether helping others is the most important aspect of wealth. You provide a clear position, acknowledging the benefits of charity while arguing that personal motives often undermine this. However, the development is somewhat limited. While you mention hospitals and schools, the arguments could be extended further to explore other aspects of wealth, such as personal security or influence, to provide a more comprehensive answer. The conclusion is clear, but the overall depth of the analysis is slightly restricted, keeping this at a Band 6.0 level.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion' to signal shifts in your argument. However, the transition between ideas within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical. For instance, the jump from discussing tax benefits to social media revenue in the second body paragraph feels a bit abrupt. Improving the flow between sentences would help elevate the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'wealthy individuals,' 'social welfare,' and 'personal gain.' There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'make free hospitals' (should be 'build' or 'establish') and 'give charity' (usually 'donate to charity'). While you attempt to use more sophisticated vocabulary, some phrasing remains repetitive. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and a wider variety of synonyms to avoid repeating 'poor people' and 'charity' multiple times.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with pluralization ('universitys' instead of 'universities') and article usage ('make free hospitals' instead of 'build free hospitals'). Additionally, there are some minor subject-verb agreement issues and missing articles. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic pluralization and article rules will significantly improve your accuracy.
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