Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Some people think that the main advantage of being rich is helping other people. In my view, helping poor people is a good thing, but it is not the only important thing about money. Nowdays not many people helps someone. In this essay I will discuss both sides with reasons and examples.
On the one hand, rich people can help poor people in many ways. Wealthy individuals have a lot of money to give charity to needy people. For example, some millionaires make free hospitals for poor people. In these hospitals, poor patients get free treatment and medicine. This is very helpful because poor people cannot pay big hospital bills. They also make few useful buildings like school college and universitys so poor people not have to pay for education.
On the other hand, I think many rich people do not help others for real kindness. Most millionaires give money to charity because they want to become famous in society. Also, when they give charity, the government reduces their taxes. So, they give a small amount of money and get double benefits for their own business. Their main motive is personal gain, not social welfare. They give tiny amounts of their money to a charity and make double revenue from it.
In conclusion, having money gives a great chance to help poor people with free healths,educationsfacilities and charity. However, many rich people do this for fame and tax saving. Therefore, helping others is a good benefit of wealth, but it is not the most important thing.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing whether helping others is the most important aspect of wealth. You provide a clear position, acknowledging the benefits of charity while arguing that personal motives often undermine this. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding tax benefits is a strong point, but it could be expanded with more nuanced analysis of how this impacts society. The conclusion is a bit repetitive and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting points are more thoroughly explored and that your position is consistently maintained throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central theme. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of cohesive devices is limited. There are instances where the connection between ideas could be smoother; for example, the transition between the discussion of hospitals and the mention of schools feels abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing is precise will help improve the overall flow and coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'wealthy individuals,' 'charity,' and 'social welfare.' However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'make free hospitals' (should be 'build' or 'establish') and 'free healths' (should be 'healthcare'). Additionally, some phrasing is repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'poor people.' To improve, try to incorporate more precise synonyms and collocations, and pay closer attention to word forms to ensure they are used correctly in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('not many people helps') and pluralization errors ('universitys'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing after commas and periods. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and plural forms will significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.