Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Some people think that the main advantage of being rich is helping other people. In my view, helping poor people is a good thing, but it is not the only important thing about money.
On the one hand, rich people can help poor people in many ways. Wealthy individuals have a lot of money to give charity to needy people. For example, some millionaires make free hospitals for poor people. In these hospitals, poor patients get free treatment and medicine. This is very helpful because poor people cannot pay big hospital bills.they also maje some useful buildings like school college or university to help poor people by giving them free education. Nowdays now one help people from their heart they donate to get more fame.
On the other hand, I think many rich people do not help others for real kindness. Most millionaires give money to charity because they want to become famous in society. Also, when they give charity, the government reduces their taxes. So, they give a small amount of money and get double benefits for their own business. Their main motive is personal gain, not social welfare.they donetw sone monet and make doubke revenur frim it by their social media accounts.
In conclusion, having money gives a great chance to help poor people with free health facilities and charity. However, many rich people do this for fame and tax saving. Therefore, helping others is a good benefit of wealth, but it is not the most important thing.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The essay addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You acknowledge the potential for helping others but argue that it is not the most important aspect of wealth, citing motives like fame and tax benefits. While the ideas are relevant, they are somewhat under-developed. For instance, the argument about tax reduction and social media is introduced but not fully explored to show how it relates to the 'importance' of wealth. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is supported with more detailed reasoning or specific examples that directly link back to the core question of whether helping others is the most significant aspect of being rich.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic. There is a logical progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs and the conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand'). Additionally, there are some issues with referencing and flow, such as the abrupt transition between sentences in the first body paragraph. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely on basic terms like 'good thing', 'useful', and 'help'. There are also several spelling errors, such as 'Nowdays', 'maje', 'donetw', 'sone', 'monet', and 'revenur', which distract the reader. To improve, you should aim to use more sophisticated vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'philanthropy', 'altruism', 'tax incentives', or 'publicity'. Focusing on accurate spelling and expanding your range of collocations will help you achieve a higher score in this criterion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Examples include 'some millionaires make free hospitals' (should be 'build' or 'establish'), 'no one help people' (subject-verb agreement), and 'make doubke revenur frim it' (preposition and spelling errors). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with capitalization and spacing after periods. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors suggests a need for more careful proofreading and a better grasp of basic sentence construction and verb forms.
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