Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Today, many people argue about the best way to help others in society. Some people believe that having a lot of money is the most important opportunity to help people. I disagree with this opinion because non-monetary things like time and skills are also very important.in this essay i will talk about the both side with reasons and examples.
On in one hand, having money helps people in many big ways. Charities and organizations need cash on buy food, clothes, and medicine for poor people. From example, rich individuals can donate large amounts of money to build schools and hospitals. Without money, it are difficult to fix major problems like hunger or disease. Therefore, money gives a powerful chance to support big projects.
Today, many people argue about the best way to help others in society. Some people believe that having a lot of money is the most important opportunity to help people. I disagree with this opinion because non-monetary things like time and skills are also very important.
On the one hand, having money helps people in many big ways. Charities and organizations need cash to buy food, clothes, and medicine for poor people. For example, rich individuals can donate large amounts of money to build schools and hospitals. Without money, it is difficult to fix major problems like hunger or disease. Therefore, money gives a powerful chance to support big projects.
On the other hand, I think that money is not the only way to help. People can use their free time and personal skills to support others. For instance, volunteers can teach kids who cannot go to school, or they can help old people in local communities. Furthermore, professionals like doctors can give free medical checkups to poor families. These actions do not need money, but they make people very happy and solve daily problems.
In conclusion, although money is useful for large charities, I do not believe it is the most important thing to help others. Giving time, effort, and skills is equally valuable. Anyone can help people around them, regardless of how much money they have in their pocket.
In conclusion, although money are useful for large charities, I do not believe it is the most important thing to help others. Giving time, effort, and skills is equally valuable. Anyone can help people around them, regardless of how much money they have in their pocket.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The essay addresses the prompt clearly and maintains a consistent position throughout. You have provided relevant arguments for both sides, acknowledging the importance of money while effectively arguing that non-monetary contributions are equally significant. The ideas are well-developed with specific examples, such as volunteers teaching children and doctors providing free checkups. To reach a higher band, ensure that you avoid repeating entire paragraphs, as the current text contains a significant amount of redundant content. This repetition detracts from the overall development and suggests a lack of careful planning. Focusing on refining the structure and ensuring each paragraph adds new value would strengthen your response significantly.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is generally coherent, and the progression of ideas is logical. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' to link your points. However, the structure is severely compromised by the inclusion of duplicate paragraphs. The first two paragraphs are repeated almost verbatim later in the text, which disrupts the flow and makes the essay feel disorganized. To improve, you must ensure that each section of your essay is unique and contributes to the overall argument. Proper paragraphing is essential for a high score, and repeating content is a major issue that hinders the logical progression of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using words like 'charities', 'organizations', 'professionals', and 'valuable' appropriately. The language is generally clear and allows the reader to follow your arguments without difficulty. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and lacks the sophistication required for higher bands. To improve, try to incorporate more precise collocations and less common lexical items. For example, instead of 'big ways', you could use 'significant capacities'. Additionally, the repetition of entire paragraphs makes the vocabulary appear more limited than it actually is. Focus on using a wider variety of synonyms to express your ideas more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you are able to communicate your ideas clearly, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'money are useful' (should be 'is') and 'it are difficult' (should be 'is'). These errors are frequent enough to be noticeable but do not generally impede communication. You have attempted some complex sentences, but they often contain minor slips. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure that your verb forms are consistent. Proofreading your work to catch these small errors would help you achieve a higher band, as your current control of grammar is sufficient but requires more precision.
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