Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Several individuals say that the most crucial thing about being affluent is that person have the privilege to help others. Some people in this contemporary society always say this.In essay I will explain on what extent i go with this.

Affluent people are only the top one percent in the world .They had several responsibilities which they are always underneath.A normal person cannot even imagine however some people say that they should assist other people in order to become a kind person .

They should help poor people by funding non profit and public welfare organizations. They should built free hospitals in addition built pharmacies where poor people can buy cheaper medicines .According to them a men cannot spent his entire fortune he has made in his life . So whats the point of gathering the wealth he cannot even use in his entire life . Affluent individuals should not stop spending on their self just how much God has given the should be aware of the poor people conditions how they are living.

In my perspective it is true that rich people have this privilege and they should understand how significant it is spend money. No one in this entire earth live long enough. In Islam there is a fixed percentage that a wealthy person should give to poor annually which is called zakat .A beautiful way to share with them who are not able to earn other states can encourages rich people to adopt this in addition rich people should give money to needy this is the only way to earn happiness.

I am not saying give everything that you have just small act of kindness. Give job to jobless assist the needy .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the role of wealth in helping others. However, the development is somewhat uneven. While you present a clear position, some arguments, such as the mention of building hospitals and pharmacies, are listed rather than fully explored. The introduction is quite brief and lacks a clear thesis statement, which limits the depth of the response. To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-supported idea that directly relates to your stance. You have successfully identified the core issue, but more detailed examples or logical reasoning would help to elevate the response to a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive. For example, the transition between sentences could be smoother; phrases like 'In my perspective' and 'In this contemporary society' are used, but the logical flow between ideas is sometimes disjointed. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the second paragraph where the transition from the responsibilities of the wealthy to the suggestion of building hospitals feels abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one will enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your meaning, including terms like 'affluent', 'privilege', and 'non-profit'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'They should built' (should build) and 'a men cannot spent' (a man cannot spend). These errors do not generally impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your writing. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary and ensure that word forms are used correctly in context. Focusing on collocations—words that naturally go together—will also help improve the naturalness of your expression.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt to use complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('person have', 'a men cannot spent') and verb tense consistency. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some missing spaces after periods and incorrect capitalization. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, they are frequent enough to affect the overall fluency. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy, such as ensuring correct verb forms and sentence boundaries, will be the most effective way to improve your score in this area.

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