Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some believe that the most significant thing related to rich is that the individual has the chance to support others. Nowadays, these thought become prevalent in our society about being helping others. This essay will discuss about why people believe on this and how many my opinion is satisfied or unsatisfied.

The one and most big reason is that the wealthy people supports individuals according to their need and requirement, moreover, sometimes they donate money related to often do something best foe their help. For example, they donate money to poor families for their monthly grocery materials and children education budget, furthermore, they pay money for medical treatment for sick people and provide food, water, clothe and other thing to the people who were affected by the natural disasters.

The other one main reason is that the affluent people assist by build new schools for uneducated children who are unable to gain knowledge due to financial issues, consequently, they do some investment in businesses to offer new jobs to unemployment peoples for their better future. Another example is that rich people donates their money in many educational and business organization to make the society well off and spend the future bright by their well mannered structure.

In my opinion, I totally agree with that its a best opportunity for the high level people to support financially low level people by helping them. Moreover, the poor people get inspired and used their money for better decision to make their future well.

To conclude this essay, being a rich person there are a lot of chances to helps others who become capable to financial strong.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the role of wealth in helping others. However, the development is somewhat repetitive, and the position, while clear, lacks depth. The introduction is slightly confusing in its phrasing ('how many my opinion is satisfied or unsatisfied'), which impacts the clarity of the stance. While the essay provides relevant examples such as donating to education and medical treatment, the arguments remain at a surface level. To reach a higher band, you should aim to explore the nuances of the topic—perhaps discussing whether this is the 'most important' aspect of wealth compared to other potential benefits—rather than simply listing ways the wealthy can help.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices like 'moreover,' 'consequently,' and 'to conclude,' though some are used mechanically or with slight grammatical awkwardness. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'these thought become prevalent,' where the antecedent is not explicitly defined. The logical flow between sentences is generally maintained, but the connection between the introduction and the body paragraphs could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used naturally will help elevate your score in this criterion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'big reason,' 'good,' and 'well off.' There are also issues with word forms and collocations, such as 'related to rich' instead of 'related to being wealthy' and 'unemployment peoples' instead of 'unemployed people.' While your meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is limited, and there are noticeable errors in word choice that occasionally make the writing sound unnatural. To improve, focus on learning collocations and using more academic synonyms for common words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('wealthy people supports'), incorrect article usage, and awkward phrasing ('how many my opinion is satisfied'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent and occur in almost every sentence. To improve, you should focus on basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that plural/singular nouns are used correctly. Reducing these frequent errors is essential for moving into the 6.0+ range.

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