Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

It is always argued that the crucial aspect about being wealthy is that one gets the opportunity to be a philanthropist in the society. I partially agree since most rich people start organizations that help the vulnerable people. However, some rich people use their resources to mistreat and bully others .

On the one hand, some people who have more resources on earth usually use that opportunity to assist the underprivileged members of their community. They do this by starting organizations that can source funds to pay school fees, and other basic needs like clothes and food stuffs. For instance, in Kenya most organizations that support the needy children were started by politicians who are highly paid. By doing this, they are able to help the poor people to have access to food, shelter and clothing.

On the other hand, some wealthy people choose to use that opportunity to mistreat people. For example they can take peoples' parcels of land and decide to bribe their way out of the court. For example in most third world countries where the judicial system is not straightforward, majority of the rich people commit crime and bully the poor but still walk away freely without the poor getting justice. This undermines communalism and contributes to social-divide.

In conclusion, being rich can have both negative and positive developments since it could be a chance to help people in the community and bringing social balance. Conversely, some wealthy people use their money to undermine the poor. In my opinion, when the rich people use their resources to help the needy in the society their will be a more peaceful community and they will be more satisfied with their deeds.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have addressed the prompt by presenting a clear position and discussing both sides of the argument. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of philanthropy and the misuse of power. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the example regarding politicians in Kenya is specific but could be expanded to better explain how this relates to the broader concept of 'being rich' as an opportunity. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting arguments are more thoroughly explored and that your conclusion directly reinforces your initial position with more depth.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion' to signal the structure. However, the flow between sentences within paragraphs is sometimes a bit mechanical. For example, the transition between the idea of land grabbing and the judicial system could be smoother. Additionally, ensure that referencing is precise; for example, 'they' in the second paragraph could be clearer in its reference to the wealthy individuals mentioned earlier.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'philanthropist,' 'underprivileged,' and 'communalism.' There are some minor issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'food stuffs' (which is usually just 'food' or 'provisions') and 'social-divide' (which is typically 'social divide' without the hyphen). While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, the overall range is somewhat restricted. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms and idiomatic expressions to convey your ideas with greater precision and variety.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'their will be' instead of 'there will be' and 'majority of the rich people' (which requires 'the' before 'majority'). Additionally, punctuation errors, such as the space before the period in 'others .', detract from the professional quality of the writing. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and proofreading for minor mechanical errors.

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