Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Humans have emotions and feelings built-in with them since the beginning. These emotions encourage them to help the people living around them whenever they are in need. Being financially well-off provides you with a lot of freedom and opportunities throughout your life. One of these opportunities is being able to help other people. I agree with the statement to a great extent.

Some people believe that the best satisfaction you can get from money is when you use it for other people. This gives you a spirtual joy and softens your heart as well. As having money and status includes luxury to your personal life, it can be used to help others as well, which in-fact makes you a good human being and raises your character.

For instance, some business operators and wealthy families are running welfare organisations in the country that are helping the poor in various ways. Moreover, some people are running international foundations as well. Such as the American billionare Bill Gates is running a polio-free campaign all over the world in order to fight with the deadly polio virus. Also we have seen the hollywood star Angeline Jolie working for the poor people of Africa as well.

However, being rich do have some negative aspects as well. Such as running a huge business is always hectic and it can create a hunger for having more and more. By staying busy at work, you may also not find enough time for your personal life and your family.

Overall, despite of having some disadvantages, I'd say that being able to help others when you are rich is one of the most important and joyful experiences someone may have in his life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt clearly and maintains a consistent position throughout. You have provided relevant examples, such as Bill Gates and Angelina Jolie, to support your argument. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The paragraph discussing the negative aspects of being rich is slightly tangential; while it acknowledges the complexity of wealth, it does not directly address the prompt's focus on the 'opportunity to help others.' To reach a higher band, ensure that every paragraph directly contributes to supporting your central thesis. The conclusion is clear, but the overall depth of analysis could be improved by exploring the societal impact of philanthropy more thoroughly.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear central focus. You use cohesive devices such as 'Moreover,' 'For instance,' and 'However' to transition between ideas. While these are effective, some of the linking is a bit mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally smooth, though the transition between the benefits of helping others and the drawbacks of being rich feels slightly abrupt. The use of referencing is generally clear, and the paragraphing is appropriate for an academic essay. To improve, try to vary your cohesive devices to create a more natural flow between sentences.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'financially well-off,' 'welfare organisations,' and 'deadly polio virus.' There are some minor spelling errors, such as 'spirtual' (spiritual) and 'billionare' (billionaire), and some slightly awkward phrasing like 'built-in with them.' While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, the control is not always consistent. To achieve a higher band, focus on refining your word choice to be more precise and ensure that your spelling is accurate, as these small errors can detract from the overall professional tone of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'being rich do have' (should be 'does have') and 'despite of' (should be 'despite' or 'in spite of'). Additionally, there are some punctuation and article usage issues, such as 'the hollywood star' (should be 'the Hollywood star'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct usage of prepositions and articles. Aim to incorporate more complex sentence structures with greater accuracy.

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