Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Some people believe that when the God give a great wealth to one person Allah give a chance to help the needy people and I agree with the statement when Almighty give a wealth Allah give a opportunity to person to help the poor people.
Firstly, when a person was not rich and God did not give him a great wealth he pray to Allah for giving him a wealth and respect and when Allah give him the all require things this is the opportunity to help the poor. He gave the poor people not in its own wealth this wealth is from the Allah almighty. I know about the one person who helps the poor and when he helps the poor Allah gives him more than more. He was very kind person.
Secondly, when a person became rich and when he did not helps the poor and needy people Allah snatch all the bounties that God gives him because the Allah gives him all the bounties for the helps to the poor. If a person help the poor and needy people Allah give him more than more and when he helps the poor the people respect this person and Allah was very happy on this individual. I know about a one person who was very rich but he did not helps the poor and needy people since after become rich he forgot all his past and one day Allah take back all his bounties.
To sum up, If God give a lot of blessing to a person the first thing is to help the poor and needy people since Allah gives him for help the others. If we help the poor and needy people God became happy and give more than more.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by expressing a clear agreement with the idea that wealth provides an opportunity to help others. However, the development of ideas is limited and repetitive. The essay relies heavily on anecdotal examples that are not fully explored or linked to broader societal or philosophical arguments. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments lack depth and variety, focusing almost exclusively on a single religious perspective rather than exploring the multifaceted nature of wealth and philanthropy. To improve, you should aim to provide more diverse arguments, such as the economic or social impact of charitable giving, to better support your position.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and repetitive. Phrases like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'To sum up' are used, but the internal flow between sentences is often disjointed. The referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly when referring to 'the one person' or 'a one person,' which makes the narrative feel fragmented. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words and ensure that pronouns and references clearly point back to the intended subjects to create a smoother, more logical progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'wealth,' 'poor,' 'needy,' and 'help.' There is a lack of variety in word choice, and some collocations are unnatural, such as 'snatch all the bounties' or 'give more than more.' The essay would benefit from using more precise academic vocabulary related to the topic of wealth, philanthropy, and social responsibility. To improve, try to incorporate synonyms and more sophisticated phrasing to express your ideas with greater precision and variety, avoiding the constant repetition of the same basic words throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede the flow of reading. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'God give,' 'Allah give,' 'he did not helps'), article usage (e.g., 'the God,' 'a wealth'), and sentence structure. Many sentences are simple or contain run-on structures that lack proper punctuation. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of basic errors in tense and agreement prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, and practice constructing more complex, error-free sentences.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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