Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

First of all, I would like to introduce the means to become a rich. A paerson are not become rich if the god will not wanted because richness is the blessing of god. if the person become rich with their own work then the labour are the most rich person in the world because labour is the most hard working person

I am agree for that a person become rich if he helps the other because it the major key to become a rich person. The Allah asked that oh man helping my creation. if a person build a way to help the others are more successfull in his life because god is happy to that person and he gives him with a lot of blessing.

We can see that in our daily life those man who are helpful for other are beig happy in his life because god is always stand with that person. He is always happy in his life because god always protect his with worries

The most important case in my life is that a preson who are poor in the beginning and he spent his life very diffcuilt. Once he install the water pump at the place where a lot of people drink water and a few years after taht the god gives his lot of wealth and at that time he including the one of the richest man in our socity

In conulsion, a man who are helpful for other are being rich and if a god give you chance to help other we will try our best to help that person

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the relationship between wealth and helping others, but the development is limited. While a position is stated, the arguments are repetitive and rely heavily on personal belief rather than a balanced exploration of the topic. The ideas are under-developed, and the focus shifts between religious perspectives and personal anecdotes, which lacks the analytical depth required for an academic essay. The response is somewhat tangential in the first paragraph, which discusses the origins of wealth rather than the prompt's focus on the importance of helping others. To improve, you should provide more structured arguments and clear examples that directly support your stance.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression of ideas is weak. Cohesive devices are used in a very mechanical and often inaccurate way, such as 'First of all' and 'In conulsion'. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult to follow the flow of arguments. For example, the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is abrupt. The use of linking words is limited and often repetitive, which hinders the overall coherence of the text. To reach a higher band, you need to use a wider range of cohesive devices more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, central topic sentence that links back to the main argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, which limits your ability to express complex ideas. There are frequent errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'paerson', 'socity', and 'diffcuilt'. You rely on a very narrow range of words, often repeating 'rich', 'help', and 'god'. There is little attempt to use less common lexical items or collocations appropriate for an academic context. To improve, you should focus on expanding your vocabulary related to social issues and wealth, and pay closer attention to correct spelling and word forms. Using synonyms and more precise terminology would significantly enhance the quality of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The grammatical control is weak, with frequent errors that often impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'a person become rich', 'labour are the most rich person'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, and the misuse of tenses makes the timeline of events confusing. While there is an attempt to use complex sentences, they are almost always grammatically incorrect. To improve, you must focus on the basics of sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and prepositions. Frequent proofreading for these common errors is essential.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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