Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is argued by some individuals that the most important benefit of being rich is having the opportunity to help others. while, i agree with the statement, I also believe money provides some personal benefit as well.

On the one hand, rich people are in a strong position to assist those who are less fortunate. For instance, they can donate money to charities, build school and hospitals or provide food and shelter to poor people. as a result, these actions can enhance the lives of many people and help to reduce social problems. Having enough money to help others can be an important advantage of being wealthy.

On the other hand, there are several benefits beyond helping others.

Firstly, Wealth can provide people with a comfortable and secure life. For example, rich people can effort better education and healthcare. They can also travel, enjoy other fun activities and spend more times with family and friends. Moreover, having financial security can reduce worries about daily expenses and future problems.

In conclusion, I agree that the ability to help others is a significant benefit of being rich. However, I also believe that personal security, comfort and freedom are significant advantages of having wealth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the altruistic and personal benefits of wealth. However, the essay is significantly under the 250-word minimum requirement, which severely limits the depth of the arguments. While the position is clear, the ideas are under-developed; for example, the points about 'better education' and 'healthcare' are mentioned but not elaborated upon to provide a fully extended argument. To improve, you must expand your supporting points with more specific examples or explanations to meet the length requirement and demonstrate a more thorough exploration of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' 'For instance,' and 'Moreover' are used effectively to guide the reader through the argument. However, the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is slightly mechanical. The overall progression is logical, but the brevity of the response makes the structure feel somewhat thin. Improving the flow between sentences within paragraphs would further enhance the coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate for the task, with terms like 'altruistic' (implied), 'financial security,' and 'less fortunate.' However, there are some minor errors in word choice and form, such as 'can effort' instead of 'can afford' and 'spend more times' instead of 'spend more time.' The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the sophistication or precision required for higher bands. Expanding your repertoire to include more precise collocations and academic synonyms would improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, including punctuation issues (e.g., 'while, i agree' should be 'While I agree') and capitalization errors (e.g., 'as a result' at the start of a sentence). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on consistent capitalization, correct verb forms, and ensuring that complex sentences are punctuated accurately.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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