Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the chance to help others. I strongly agree with the statement and this essay will discuss why I agree with the argue and how people have an opportunity to help others.

Money is a fundamental need of everyone, and people are working hard to earn a significant amount of money. Many people who suffer with poverty, they know the value of money and efforts to earn it. After earning a significant amount of money, they always prefer to help other. They find it as an opportunity to help others. Not only does they help to provide money to someone, but they also help people to start something their own as source of money.

The other reason is that many people often want to share funds and do charity as they are kind and helpful, but they don't have adequate money to help others or do charity, so others who are rich, they can help easily and that is an opportunity for them. they can do charity and share some amount of money to others. Additionally, many people think that God make them rich because they can help others, and being rich, many people take it as opportunity and want to be thankful of the God by sharing money and help others.

In conclusion, I firmly agree with the statement that people have a opportunity to share money or help other as they are rich because many people who are kind, always want to help other, but they don't have enough money to share. Being a rich can give them this opportunity to help others, as they want to be thankful of the God.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive. While you mention that wealth provides an opportunity to help others, the arguments regarding 'God' and 'kindness' are circular and lack specific examples or depth. To reach a higher band, you should move beyond general statements and provide more concrete illustrations or logical extensions of your points. The conclusion restates the position but does not add any new insight or synthesis to the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear overall progression. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'The other reason is...', 'Additionally...'). There are also issues with referencing; for example, in the second paragraph, the pronoun 'they' is used inconsistently, making it occasionally difficult to track whether you are referring to the poor or the rich. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring clear pronoun-antecedent agreement would enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'money' and 'help' repeatedly. There are also some awkward collocations and word-choice errors, such as 'discuss why I agree with the argue' (should be 'argument') and 'being a rich' (should be 'being rich' or 'being wealthy'). To improve, focus on using more sophisticated synonyms and collocations related to the topic of philanthropy and socio-economic status.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('Not only does they help') and article misuse ('the God'). While the meaning is generally understandable, these persistent errors prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with verb forms, articles, and pluralization.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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