Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many people believed that wealthy beings have the chance to help people in their difficult situation, but others opinion is people can change their economy class because they get respect in society. While I strongly agree with that rich people have the opportunity to assist the public in case of provide food people and donate money.

First and foremost, in most of the countries people have not able to fulfil their basic needs especially food and it is a basic requirement for every human being. Well-off parsons have the chance to give money to people who struggle in their life. It reduces the crime rate in any country because when people have the food especially for their children they cannot involved in bad activities. It's morally good that you provide food to needy people. For example, in Bahria Town Lahore, Pakistan gives food to millions of individuals daily due to this it reduces the offence rate in Lahore.

Furthermore, every citizen in the country require finance to fulfill their necessity like education, health, accommodation, marriage, and so more. Affluent people support these people in their hard time and it create balance in the society when adults have the chance to get free education. For instance, lot of businessman charity their wealth to education institutions and these organizations provide free education to students.

In conclusion, people who have lot of money who give money to people who are not good to handle their basic needs give education to their children and get food them because its morally good and reduce the crime rate from the society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position on the importance of helping others. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you provide relevant examples, such as the mention of food distribution in Lahore, the explanation of how wealth facilitates this is occasionally repetitive. The conclusion is quite weak, as it merely restates points without adding a final synthesis or reflection. To reach a higher band, ensure that each body paragraph fully explores the 'why' and 'how' of your arguments rather than listing benefits. The initial mention of 'economy class' and 'respect' is slightly off-topic and distracts from the main argument regarding the moral obligation to help others.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use basic cohesive devices like 'First and foremost', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' to signal the structure. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. For instance, the final paragraph is a single, long, and somewhat run-on sentence that lacks clear internal cohesion. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the phrase 'others opinion is people can change their economy class', which lacks a smooth transition from the previous clause. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring sentences are logically connected would enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of incorrect word choice or non-standard collocations, such as 'wealthy beings' (instead of 'wealthy individuals'), 'well-off parsons' (instead of 'persons'), and 'businessman charity their wealth' (instead of 'donate their wealth'). These errors occasionally impede the clarity of your message. To improve, focus on learning collocations—words that naturally go together—and avoid using informal or incorrect terminology. Expanding your range to include more academic synonyms for common words like 'help', 'money', and 'good' will significantly boost your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('people have not able', 'every citizen... require'), incorrect verb forms ('cannot involved'), and awkward sentence construction. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly in the final paragraph, which lacks necessary commas and structure. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors requires the reader to work harder to interpret your points. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement and tense consistency will lead to immediate improvements.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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