Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is often argued that the importance of wealth is all about ability to help others. In my opinion, I partially agree with that people who have more should share with those who have less which would lead to better social relationships.
The ability to share and support others is a great gift to individuals as the result of gaining happiness in return. Seeing someone succeed as a result of your help is a great present and always brings happiness to that person. More than that, this cycle will never end, in other words, people who received help before tend to help other people more which leads to a positive and happy environment as a result. For these reasons, being able to help others with one's wealth is a great opportunity and an important role in building up a happy and positive society.
On the other hand, serving others is truly a optional rather than a duty. You cannot force someone to share their own hardwork on reasoning of kindness is fundamental to healthy society, furthermore many rich individuals prefer to spend their money in personal fulfillment which makes the statement work only in different society from capitalist society where it forces everyone to be selfish and competitive.
In conclusion, in general opportunity and capability to serve others which would make this world a better and peaceful place is the most important thing about being rich. However , part of the wealthy population have different view which makes it less practical.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the role of wealth in helping others. You have a clear position, although the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The first body paragraph effectively explains the benefits of altruism, but the second paragraph is less clear. The argument regarding 'capitalist society' is a bit underdeveloped and slightly tangential to the core question of whether helping others is the 'most important' aspect of wealth. To improve, ensure that each paragraph directly supports your thesis statement and provides more concrete examples or logical depth to justify your stance.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'In conclusion' and 'On the other hand', but some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'More than that' and 'in other words'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the final paragraph where the connection between the wealthy population's view and the practicality of the argument is somewhat vague. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words would help the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using words like 'altruism' (implied), 'fulfillment', and 'competitive'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'reasoning of kindness' instead of 'grounds of kindness' or 'in the name of kindness'. Some phrasing is also repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'happy' and 'happiness'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and collocations, and try to avoid repeating basic adjectives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('in different society'), subject-verb agreement issues ('part of the wealthy population have'), and awkward phrasing ('is truly a optional'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, specifically with spacing around commas. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for small errors like missing articles and prepositions, which currently occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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