Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Some people believe that the most advantage of being wealthy is having opportunity to help other people. I strongly agree with this statement because helping other people in critical situations which gives better blessing for our future lifespan.
In this paragraph, main advantage of having opportunity to help less fortunate people. they can donate money to charity, support educational Programme and provide financial support to families affected by poverty and natural disasters. For example, rich peoples can fund schools and hospitals in developing areas giving people better access to education and healthcare.
However, being rich also offers significant personal advantages. Wealth can provide a comfortable lifestyle, better education and greater financial security. Rich people can also travel, pursue their interests and spend more time with their families without constantly worrying about basic expenses. These benefits should not be ignored simply because helping others is considered important.
In conclusion, I agree that one of the greatest benefits of wealth is the ability to improve other people's lives. Nevertheless, financial security and personal freedom are also valuable advantages. In my view, wealthy people should use a reasonable proportion of their money to help others while also enjoying the benefits that their wealth provides.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you clearly state your position in the introduction and conclusion, the supporting arguments are underdeveloped. For instance, the second paragraph lacks a clear topic sentence and contains fragmented phrasing. The ideas presented are relevant to the prompt, but they are not extended sufficiently to provide a fully developed argument. To improve, you must expand on your points with more detailed explanations and specific examples to ensure the response is comprehensive and meets the length requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of your argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and limited. For example, the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph is abrupt, and the second paragraph lacks a proper introductory sentence. While you use some linking words like 'However' and 'In conclusion', the overall flow could be improved by using a wider variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas more fluidly within and between sentences.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic terms such as 'main advantage' and 'better blessing'. There are also some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'most advantage' instead of 'greatest advantage' and 'better blessing' which is not a standard collocation. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions that are appropriate for an academic context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'the most advantage of being wealthy is having opportunity' is grammatically incorrect, as is 'which gives better blessing for our future lifespan'. Additionally, there are issues with article usage and pluralisation, such as 'rich peoples'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors suggests a need for more careful proofreading and a better grasp of complex sentence construction.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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