Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is a long debate over wether rich has a greater opportunity of helping other and poor do nkt have such opportunity. Some people believe that being wealthy is enough for helping people, while others think that you need courage and passion for th is task. According to the former statement elite class is more capable of helping others because they have resources and they can spend their hard earned money on needy and working class people and also they can spendbon anyone they want. For instance Bill Gates is a billionare and is one the most richest person alive. He is a great and kind person he helps people alot and every year he donates 10 percent of his earning to different organizations working for the betterment pf mankind and also to the charity organization. He is able to do this all because of his assests. So we cannot deny the importance of english language. While the other point argues that despite having money you need courage and you should be passionate about helping the needy people. There are several examples where people who were not rich were helping alot of people. This can be best express by the example of Abdul star Edhi he is one the biggest humanitarian and he should be awarded noble price for the work he has done. He has shown us that you dont need alot of money for helping people. He established one of the biggest charity organization in the world. The only think he has was passion for helping peolpe.

After this long debate i believe that the statement is true that being rich makes you able to help other people

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the role of wealth in helping others. However, the development is uneven. While you provide relevant examples like Bill Gates and Abdul Sattar Edhi, the argument lacks depth. The conclusion is brief and does not fully synthesize the points made. Furthermore, there is a significant irrelevance in the second paragraph where you mention the 'importance of english language,' which is completely off-topic and detracts from your argument. To improve, ensure all sentences directly support your thesis and provide a more nuanced exploration of why wealth might be considered the 'most important' factor versus other qualities.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward transitions and mechanical phrasing. For example, the shift between the two viewpoints is abrupt. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often repetitive or used in a way that feels forced. The paragraphing is present, but the internal flow within paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect your supporting evidence to your main arguments more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. You use basic terms like 'rich,' 'helping,' and 'good' repeatedly. There are also several spelling errors, such as 'wether' (whether), 'nkt' (not), 'assests' (assets), and 'peolpe' (people). These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more sophisticated vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'philanthropy,' 'financial resources,' or 'altruism,' and ensure your spelling is accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there is a high frequency of grammatical errors. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'rich has a greater opportunity'), missing articles (e.g., 'the poor'), and punctuation errors. Some sentences are poorly constructed, such as 'This can be best express by the example of Abdul star Edhi,' which should be 'expressed.' While the meaning is generally clear, the persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevent the essay from reaching a higher band score.

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