Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

it is often argued by some people that about being rich is that one has the chance to assist others . Although some might agree with this notion , I completely disagree ,Not only because of high education and Give a chance in your life to built your future with your sources , but also because of hard working is also the key of to become a rich.

There are multiple benefits associated with this topic . Firstly, If someone want to become a rich he has need to get a high education in his life because its a crucial part of our life As if someone learning in his life he will know how to tackle the circumstances. For instance , the worlds richest person Elon Mask told his recent podcast , I was nothing but i have the qualification this knowledge support me to capable for my life and today i'm the well known person in this world. Thus, the education is essential for everyone to become a rich.

On the other hand , the resource of your father are also help people to become a rich . As if someone's father is successful in his business then his child can also run his work. As an example of Indian big producer , Karan Joher runs his father's industry, which is the famous industry in India the RYS Films .However, the forfather's property can also support to become a rich.

Finally, The last thing is hard working , this can also Aid the people to get a rich or well known. As if someone don't has much schooling or resources if he is hard work or struggle in his life he will be become a wealthy person.

Subsequently, i believed that Better education , father's property and Hard working Supports individuals to become a rich.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt but fails to engage with the core philosophical question. The task asks to what extent you agree that the most important aspect of being rich is the opportunity to help others. Instead of discussing the importance of philanthropy, you focus on how people become rich (education, inheritance, hard work). This is a misinterpretation of the prompt. While you maintain a position, the ideas are not relevant to the specific question asked, leading to a lack of task development. To improve, ensure you directly address the 'opportunity to help others' aspect rather than listing factors that lead to wealth.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use basic cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'On the other hand', and 'Finally' to signal transitions. However, the logical progression is hindered by the lack of relevance to the prompt. Some sentences are disjointed, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the transition between the discussion of inheritance and the example of Karan Johar. The conclusion is a summary of your points but does not effectively synthesize the argument in relation to the prompt's central theme.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'rich', 'life', and 'people'. There are several word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'resource of your father' instead of 'family inheritance' or 'parental support', and 'get a rich' instead of 'become wealthy'. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the range is insufficient to express complex ideas with precision. To reach a higher band, focus on learning topic-specific collocations and avoiding the repetition of simple adjectives and verbs.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede flow. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('someone want to become', 'father are also help'), incorrect article usage, and awkward sentence structures ('the worlds richest person Elon Mask told his recent podcast'). You rely heavily on simple sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences often contain errors in punctuation and clause construction. The misuse of 'As if' as a conjunction is a recurring error. Focusing on basic sentence accuracy and mastering subject-verb agreement will significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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