Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In comtemporary society, there is the argument that the most necessary aspect of being wealthy is the avenue to be of help to other people. In my opinion, I completely agree with this as wealthy individuals help people stay motivated and also point people towards the right direction. These points will be explained in the following paragraphs with relevant examples followed by a logical conclusion.

To begin with, rich people are always motivated to be the best version of themselves. They invest in knowledge through education and can also do same to people around them, as education they say is the key success. This can reduce the overall impact of poverty in the future via employment. And also, an educated society makes proper informed choices. For example, a philanthropist sponsoring the education of school children in his locality to become Lawyers.

Furthermore, when there is ample financial resources from well-to-do individuals, they can point people to the right direction, like helping them make proper decisions about life especially financial decisions. This can ensure an effective society where everyone wins together. For example, James, decided to be Neurosurgeon because a philanthropist who is a neurosurgeon sponsored his education and encouraged him to follow on the path.

In conclusion, the most important thing about being wealthy is the ability to be of help to others. I completely agree with this because rich individuals help people stay motivated and also point people towards the right direction thereby providing a society where everyone wins together in a long run.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention education and financial guidance as ways to help others, the arguments remain quite general and lack depth. For instance, the example of 'James' is a good attempt at personalization, but the connection between being rich and the specific ability to 'point people in the right direction' could be more thoroughly explored. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully expanded with more detailed reasoning or broader implications rather than relying on brief, repetitive statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' to signal the structure. However, the use of these devices is somewhat mechanical, and the flow between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother. Referencing is generally clear, but the transition between the idea of education and the example provided could be more sophisticated. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate, and the essay is easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'philanthropist', 'locality', and 'financial resources'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of slightly unnatural collocations, such as 'do same to people' instead of 'do the same for others'. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of less common lexical items and ensure that your word choices are precise and idiomatic. The current vocabulary is sufficient but lacks the flexibility and sophistication required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'as education they say is the key success' (missing articles and awkward phrasing) and 'decided to be Neurosurgeon' (missing article). Additionally, there are some punctuation and phrasing issues, such as 'And also, an educated society...' starting a sentence with a conjunction. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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