Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people said that most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. While wealth can provide certain great opportunities to support those who in need, I believe that financial success can lead to other important advantages such as financial security, freedom and access to better opportunities.

One major advantage of being rich is ability to help people who are less fortunate. The people who have less financial resources and lives miserably. A wealthy individual can donate money to the charities, to support education for a well deserved students and provide for medical services for disabled communities. For example, a businessman can open a scholarship programme for the intelligent and needy people who cannot afford the higher education. Furthermore, wealthy people can provide job opportunities for the people by establishing new business and provide opportunities for a low class income folks.

However, helping others is not necessarily the most important part of being rich. Financial security can improve the standard of quality of life for wealthy individual. By financial stability, they can choose the better quality of education and healthy living style. Moreover, financial stability can protect people from unexpected financial difficulties such as loss in business and unemployment. Therefore, financial security is valuable for the wealthy people.

In conclusion, wealthy people can provide opportunities for the people in need and support them by providing various platforms, However, financial security helps them to adapt a standard quality of life. Ultimately , the greatest value of being rich depends up on how the person handles it's financial resources.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by acknowledging the importance of helping others while presenting a counter-argument regarding personal financial security. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the discussion on 'financial security' is a bit generic and could have been more deeply explored to contrast effectively with the idea of altruism. While the main points are relevant, the supporting examples, such as the businessman opening a scholarship, are functional but could be more sophisticated to reach a higher band. Overall, the response covers all parts of the task well.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Furthermore', 'However', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing and flow. For example, the sentence 'The people who have less financial resources and lives miserably' is a sentence fragment that disrupts the flow. Additionally, the use of 'it's' instead of 'its' in the final sentence is a minor error that slightly affects the precision of the concluding thought. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their ideas clearly. There is an attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'financial stability', 'altruism' (implied), and 'scholarship programme'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'low class income folks' and 'well deserved students'. These errors do not impede communication, but they prevent the response from reaching a higher band. More precise and varied vocabulary would enhance the sophistication of the argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the writer attempts complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'Some people said that most important thing' (missing articles) and 'depends up on' (incorrect preposition usage). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and punctuation, such as the unnecessary space before the comma in 'Ultimately ,'. Despite these errors, the meaning remains clear throughout the text, and the errors do not significantly impede the reader's understanding. A greater focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would be beneficial.

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