Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Certain claim that the most significant thing about being wealthy is that people's also get opportunity to assist others. I strongly agree with this view because they creates a job requirements and donating their wealth among the poor.

There are several reasons that having wealthy is the most crucial to create opportunity to support other or needy persons around us. One of the major reason is rich man established their new companies or business, by this they can create job opportunities for the unemployment person who actually need this. From their, they can earn money and contributed to support their family, give them basic necessities, better education and health care and comfortable livelihood. For instance, An unemployment individuals can get a financial support by their company or business and run their family without any stress. As a result, Being a rich man become helpful for needy people.

Another important reason is that they are donated their money among the poor and slum people, which help them to fulfil their daily needs and health care. Some wealthy person supported educational sector like school, college and universities and also health sector providing medicines and operation facilities. From there, poor and especially urban girls students get their educational support and completed their study without any delay. Moreover, people who have a lot of money also provide their money to improve their local community established park, sports center and swimming area for the recreation, which can improve the mental health.

In conclusion, Many people argue that the most necesser thing about being wealthy is that people's also get opportunity to assist others. I strongly agree with this view because they creates a job requirements and donating their wealth among the poor.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. The ideas are relevant, focusing on job creation and charitable donations as the primary benefits of wealth. However, the development is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. For example, the explanation of how businesses help the unemployed is a bit simplistic. The conclusion is a near-verbatim repetition of the introduction, which is a missed opportunity to synthesize the arguments. To reach a higher band, you should aim to extend your ideas with more specific examples or nuanced analysis rather than repeating the same points in different words.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic. There is a logical progression of ideas from job creation to charitable giving. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'From their' (likely meant to be 'From there') and 'From there' at the start of the third paragraph are used awkwardly. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as 'they creates a job requirements' where the pronoun 'they' does not clearly refer back to a specific noun. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words would enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of incorrect word choice or collocation, such as 'necesser thing' (necessary), 'unemployment individuals' (unemployed individuals), and 'slum people'. The phrasing 'Being a rich man become helpful' is also unnatural. While you attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'financial support' and 'basic necessities', the overall range is limited. To improve, focus on learning collocations and ensuring that word forms (e.g., noun vs. adjective) are used correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('they creates', 'wealthy person supported'), article usage ('the unemployment person'), and pluralization ('people's also get'). While the meaning is generally understandable, these persistent errors prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that plural nouns are used correctly. Increasing the variety of complex sentence structures while maintaining accuracy is also recommended.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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